Ask Dr. Nell
Q: Dear Nell,
Does Viagra work on young guys? I saw this episode of “Sex and the City,” and it seemed like Viagra is a miracle drug. What happens to a “normal” guy when he takes it?
– Experimental
A: Dear Experimental,
I’m a huge fan of “Sex and the City” and have always wondered this myself. While I could test this out on one of my friends, I’m worried that the lucky guy would end up “perma-happy” for longer than he needs to be. Since my team of sexperts were stumped on this, I decided to go to the old, trusty Internet. Apparently, a male who does not have problems with impotency should not take Viagra. Viagra speeds up your heartrate, so too much in your system at once will give you a heart attack. Don’t believe me? Take the story of Mr. Hoswicker from Houston. After consuming a handful of pills, the 70-year-old man exclaimed that, “It was like the beast himself was in [his] pants!” Unfortunately, he spoke too soon. Within an hour, Mr. Hoswicker felt a sharp pain and fell to the floor. The culprit: Exploded genitals which resembled “the land mine wounds treated in Vietnam.” Bottom line: Enjoy your youth while you can, and remember the story of Mr. Hoswicker and his wounded toy soldier.
Q:Dear Nell,
Does pot really affect a guy’s ability to produce sperm?
– Curious
A: Dear Curious,
According to www.spermconfirm.com, marijuana effects, through long-term use, include a loss of memory, concentration, feeling of productivity and an extreme craving for Taco Bell. Other effects of smoking the sevenleaf plant include panic attacks and anxiety. And yes, it does impair male fertility. The magic herb affects sperm function by compromising its ability to get to and fertilize the egg. It also decreases the number of Leydig cells, the cells responsible for testosterone secretion. There has been no connection shown, however, between marijuana and long-term problems with infertility, so your smoking binge on 4/20 will not affect your contribution to the gene pool. Do not take this information, however, to mean that ganja is birth control. Anything that makes you ponder the meaning of life while making you laugh hysterically at a blank TV can’t keep spermadozoas in their cage.
Q: Dear Nell,
Where did the word “sex” start?
– Webster
A: Dear Webster,
Sex, otherwise known as copulation or fornication, has obviously been around for quite some time (refer to the story of Adam and Eve). If you look up the word “sex” in a dictionary, you will find that it is derived from the Latin word for “six” and was first used in 1382. No, that is not the minimum number of partners people were told to have, but rather something to do with six-sided objects (what, I don’t really want to know). The word condom comes from a Dr. (or Colonel) Condom (or Condum, Condon or Conton) – a physician at the court of Charles II – who invented the device. For more ways to expand your vocabulary (and your mind, of course), visit www.adultterms.com.
Q: Dear Nell,
Why is it that girls have to worry about birth control. Couldn’t there just be a way for guys to take a pill and be infertile for a while?
– Sick of Taking Charge
A: Dear Sick,
Believe it or not, “man pills” are on the way. Oral contraception for men reduces sperm counts to levels that are unlikely to cause pregnancy. In Italy, a contraceptive pill containing synthetic hormones is being used by men in a clinical study. The men also receive testosterone injections to boost the effectiveness of the pill. Other options (which are still on the drawing board) are subdermal implants and battery-powered capsules. For now, however, men steer clear from taking permanent protection. At least they don’t have to paint their “manhood” with pitch as they did in Egypt or heat their testicles in … wood-burning ovens … as they did in Rome.
