Ask Nell
Q: Dear Nell,
My girlfriend keeps asking me to run a train with her and her roommate. Does that mean I’m to run on train tracks or what?
– The Conductor
A: Dear Conductor,
Hmmm … I have never heard of “running on the train tracks,” so I had to look around. 2 Live Crew includes this phrase in their hit rap song “Bill So Horny,” a rather “interesting” song about Bill Clinton and his interns. In the song, he tells Linda Tripp, “I’ll play with your mind just like it’s a game. I’ll call my homie Vernon so we can run a train.” I’m not sure you want to run on train tracks with Linda Tripp. After an unsuccessful attempt to ask “Homie Vernon” about the train, I went to the good ol’ dictionary. The slang term would be to “run a train” on a person, which means in high school terms to have sex with more than one member of the football team, in some cases within the same night. So, unless you want to trade in your writing pen for some football pads, I think you should avoid running with the train. Either way, “running on the train tracks” has turned out to be a very ambiguous term. My advice? Run your tracks with caution … nothing involving Linda Tripp and “Homie Vernon” can be that much fun …
Q: Dear Nell,
A guy I know supposedly has a crush on me. He doesn’t really act very different around me, but I think I like him back. Is it weird for me to go up to him and initiate something?
– Crush
A: Dear Crush,
This all depends on who your sources are. While people in college have cars, credit cards and a few IDs, they are not necessarily mature. Remember that horrible embarrassment felt by the kid who was told that somebody liked him (or her)? Make sure your sources are telling the truth before you proceed. If all signs point to GO, start up a casual conversation with him: Where he’s from, what his major is … You can even have a mutual friend invite both of you out one night. Take all of this one step at a time, and don’t get too wrapped up in it. All the hype about a crush can sometimes lead to a bad low if it doesn’t work out.
Q: Dear Nell,
I read your comment on making a guy wear a thong. First of all, thongs are meant to do away with underwear lines, which guys don’t have. Plus, guys have a lot more equipment where girls don’t. Making a guy wear a thong to impress a girl is just cruel in my opinion …
– Comfortable in Boxers
A: Dear Comfortable,
Slow down there Hamilton. Nowhere in my article did I say, “making a guy wear a thong.” I simply implied it as a tactic to use if a guy is desperate to see the bite-sized undergarment on his girlfriend, and yes, I am fully aware of the fact that guys are built differently than women are. It scares me a little bit that you actually know what panty lines are. If I were you, I would sit down and think long and hard about myself and who I really am. Is it the thong that bothers you or the fact that you may enjoy wearing one?
