Some women feel that having casual sex is demoralizing, but now more and more women are finding their ability to define their sexuality empowering.
A no-strings-attached attitude marks today’s dating culture. It’s casual and unplanned, with no commitment, and often involving alcohol and very little talking. ‘Hookup’ remains the umbrella term for everything and anything from kissing to consummating.
SMU freshman Summer Dashe agrees.
“It seems today’s young adults find hooking up a rite of passage, as if it is simply part of the college experience,” she said. “The term ‘slut’ and ‘player’ are rapidly losing relevance as casual hooking up gains acceptance,” she commented.
Dating has a completely different meaning. For many, dating can mean too much commitment for comfort. Some believe that young adults have been negatively influenced by a previous generation jaded by high divorce rates and crumbling marriages and the current generation is in a relationship limbo.
The Independent Women’s Forum conducted an 18-month study in 2001 called “Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Hoping for Mr. Right: College Women on Dating and Mating Today.” The research team interviewed more than 1,000 college women from schools around the country. Only 50 percent of women said they had been asked on six or more dates since coming to college. One-third said they had been asked on two or fewer dates.
The changing of female social roles and the evolution of sexual freedom remains one of the leading causes behind the hookup culture. In older generations, women would not go out on weekends unless perched on a man’s arm. But now, not only do they make weekend appearances without a date, but some have come to accept, support and engage in hooking up as a social activity. With improved gender equality, many women in college may be preparing for careers, and are scoping out Mr. Man-for-the-moment rather than Mr. Right.
Because women are emphasizing their sexual freedom, men assume they accept the hookup culture. Although it is a positive step for women that they are now able to express their sexual desires in a way they hadn’t been able to, control has proven difficult for many young women.
Flirting can be fun for some, but there’s a line where flirting becomes more–– a line crossed all too often. Young women now have the ability to set boundaries themselves, versus past generations when they were set by society.
Denise Roberts, a social worker in the counseling field said, “Many girls that I speak with feel as though they are equaling the score, so to speak, by having casual sex with guys. ‘After all,’ one teen told me, ‘they get power from putting a notch on their bedposts so why can’t we?’
“The truth is, I have never met a girl who was happy about her decision to hook up,” she said. “Most say that they feel dirty and guilty after their brief encounters. Often I hear stories of extreme fear that ‘someone will find out’ about the encounter and a gossip trail will begin.”
However, women aren’t all to blame. Our high-demand society does not value long relationships and quality time. The media has also affected and supported the hookup culture and their activities.
“It seems that easy sex is rampant on college campuses today, but new research reveals that students really want romance,” according to the U.S. Catholic Interview.
An anonymous college student confessed in the U.S. Catholic Interview, “It makes me feel terrible when there’s a cute girl and I ask her out and she replies condescendingly, ‘Who dates anymore?’ How am I supposed to reply to that?”
He closed with a statement of contempt for the current dominant domain. “The social norms among college students are designed to prevent people from having relationships, even if they want them!”