Every college student knows that having a true “college experience” is much more than going to class and studying, and Ed Board feels that it’s time to bring back some time honored traditions.
Just take a look at the past. Washington State fans spelled out “Caltech” at the 1961 Rose Bowl. Students at the University of Washington-Madison brought Lady Liberty to Lake Mendota in 1979. Throughout the years of university student life, pulling pranks on rival schools has been a staple of truly earning a higher education.
Pranks are an essential part of college history and tradition. Ed Board feels that by focusing on mundane things, like studying, college students have failed to invest time in the most important aspect of university life – the tricking of our rivals and the thievery of their school’s most prized possessions.
While it is true that the occasional shenanigan takes place in the dorms (or residence halls if you insist on being politically correct), SMU students need to think on a grander scale. Let’s face it, guys, duct taping your drunken suitemate to a wall is small time, but what could scream “school spirit” like pony poop on the TCU field?
Ed Board feels it’s time for the SMU community to join together as one united force, harassing the “lesser” surrounding universities and upping our status in the university sphere by doing something truly shocking. Since winning a national championship appears problematic, Ed Board suggests pulling a prank on a nearby school that will garner more attention than an over-rated sports game.
Gone are the days of mischief and mayhem that define us more than our GPAs. Remember when our very own Mustang band dropped rye grass seeds on the TCU football field in the shape of an “M” and patiently waited across the Metroplex for the seeds of tomfoolery to sprout? No? That’s because it happened in 1999. No prank of notable worth has brought adoration upon our glorious campus this century.
However, Ed Board understands that all pranks have unwritten rules and lines that should not be crossed – anything that brings about felony convictions, for example. Ed Board feels that good-natured pranks should do nothing less than bring tears to the collective eyes of our enemies.
Ed Board mourns the fact that high school seniors, as documented in “High School Stories” carry out such dastardly deeds as getting classes cancelled and feels that all SMU students should dedicate their time to recruiting such valiant members of pranking society. Our university would be none the worse for having them in our community.
