It is unconscionable that your paper would participate – even in jest – in the defense of a woman out to commit grave and premeditated harm to another human being. “You have to admire Nowak’s courage…the courage to say NO to conventional plumbing (referring to her wearing adult diapers to avoid bathroom stops on the way to kidnap/kill her love rival), the courage to say NO to continuing her normal life (referring to her leaving her husband and three small children), and the courage to go insane with love.”
Nope, sorry. I don’t admire that kind of “courage.” It is not courage at all, at least not the type of courage we have typically entrusted our heroes and heroines to reflect. Why not go a bit farther in your editorial? Why not defend underage drinking and drug use on campus? Surely, kids will be kids, right? With that logic, one might argue that it takes courage to flaunt or ignore that unfair under-21 law and it’s love that makes us bravely party on in an insane quest to live anything BUT a “normal” life.
In light of your editorial, I’d like to invite faculty and students alike to reflect on the meaning of “courage.” Is it, perhaps, more about facing the unknown, or subjugating personal fears? Is it that trait that spurs us on to advance scientific exploration or effect social change that benefits humanity, rather than seek destruction? Is it that ineffable essence of God within that allows us to face each day despite the insanity of grief, depression, addiction or illness? My heroes and heroines are those who seize that gift or who help others to discover it for themselves.
Many cannot. It is all too easy to give in to the baser instincts of human weakness. Unfortunately, we have seen that on our own campus. Nowak’s tragic fall reminds us that even our heroes are not infallible. But Nowak’s actions are not things to be celebrated in the name of “courage,” nor justified in the name of “love.” Rather, we should question why individuals who engage in self-destructive behavior are accorded celebrity status in our society or are worshipped as the gods they are not. Does living this way show the “courage” and “love” our Creator has called us to express? Is an acceptance of “anything-goes” ethics true freedom? And we might ask ourselves, where do we find courage today? In the name of love – real love – let’s pray for the strength to reflect it to our brothers and sisters, instead of ignoring or celebrating our spiritual, emotional or physical brokenness.
Marci Pounders, M.Div., Perkins School of Theology, 2005
Office of the Chaplain, SMU
