A New Year-a new approach

‘Tis a new year filled with new rules, hopes, goals and good ol’ “January” resolutions. On the dawn of the first day of January, most of us actually went to the gym and told that extra side of bacon to get lost. But where is that iron glad fist of ours now?

While resolutions are fun goals to set before we kiss that special someone or no one, are we setting ourselves up for failure by taking on too much?

According to About.com’s 10 Tips for New Year’s Resolutions, about 67 percent of people make three or more resolutions. That’s quite a huge set of goals in respect to how fast-paced our lives already are with cell phones, Internet, automobiles, day planners and so on. Are we that imperfect?

It is definitely possible to set goals and attain them. But what we’re talking about tends to be the somewhat simpler ones, such as walk my dog Benny once a week, cut back on soda, call my Aunt Millie on Sundays, etc. Amidst all of this minimalism and the day-to-day goals that can be checked off on a single page “to do” list, where does the heart come into play?

A friend suggested to me the idea of control. We pick the easiest things to change because we can control them. When it comes to our hearts, our minds always seem to think one thing while the heart has another plan in store. Maybe we should follow my mother’s way of thinking, go beyond the external surface area and dig a little deeper. Set a goal for your insides.

Under the citizens’ section of a government website, firstgov.gov, someone has placed 13 common New Year’s resolutions and some helpful pointers on how to get started on them. These resolutions only take one click for further information: lose weight, pay off debt, save money, get a better job, get fit, eat right, get a better education, drink less alcohol, quit smoking now, reduce stress overall and so forth. Nowhere on this page is a link for preserving relationships or a guide for getting past old ones. We’re on our own in this arena.

Why don’t we set goals for our relationships, even the ones with our parents? How often do you hear someone say, “This year, I’m going to leave my ex-boyfriend Dylan in the past and completely stop talking to him so that I can successfully move on?”

We should set realistic small or big picture goals for our relationships, whether it be with boyfriends, girlfriends, parents or siblings. If we could adjust these relationships ever so slightly so that they may be less problematic, maybe the easier goals like losing weight could become easier because our environment will have changed.

So dig a little deeper and try to find something that will change you from the inside out. And who knows, maybe once you’ve done so, you may be able to actually conquer those reappearing resolutions, like the famous weight loss one.

Stacy Seebode is a senior journalism and dance major. She writes a weekly sex column that appears weekly. She can be reached at [email protected]