The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

SMU professor Susanne Scholz in the West Bank in 2018.
SMU professor to return to campus after being trapped in Gaza for 12 years
Sara Hummadi, Video Editor • May 18, 2024

Funk and forgiveness

Stacy tackles strange odors, expectations

Q: Dear Stacy,

What do girls expect out of a boyfriend?

– Steve

A: Dear Steve,

While every girl certainly has her own expectations, there are a few guidelines which can be considered golden rules. The first is simple – care for her. Offer her the attention, affection and respect she kindly and openly gives you. Girls tend to methodically go out of their way to do everything in terms of pleasing you.

Write her a silly poem or love note to demonstrate that you’re thinking about her. If you’re artistically challenged, there are other alternatives.

Buy your special lady flowers or order a man in a banana hammock who can pop out of a cake and sing, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray – “

Another easy rule to follow is being who you are, whether it be grungy garage band guy or Preppy McPrepperson. There are too many men out there trying to prove to women that they’re the all-inclusive package. Relationships aren’t one man acts. Don’t try to prove something.

If you’re sensitive, allow yourself to cry when you watch “Bambi” with your girlfriend. Come on, Bambi’s mom gets shot! If you eat like a hungry hippo, allow yourself to just let go.

Be her companion. If she asks you to accompany her to the theater, go – she asked you for a reason. Hang out with her in your free time, but remember to stay independent of each other. And don’t be a flake.

Expectations can be a positive factor in relationships, but they can also play a vital role in deciding whether or not the relationship is even worthwhile. Keep them realistic, and don’t compromise the things you deserve and really want.

Q: Dear Stacy,

If someone lies to you, particularly your boyfriend, can you ever really forgive them?

– Michelle

A: Dear Michelle,

Forgiving and forgetting: one in the same or two completely different concepts? Forgiving someone comes from your ability to extend compassion to another, so – yes, it’s possible for you to forgive your boyfriend. However, the ramifications of his actions as well as your response can have quite an effect on your relationship.

My friend once offered this idea to me. Once you make the mistake of accepting certain behavioral patterns, such as lying, the person who lied to you psychologically knows it is okay to continue that behavior. And it starts with the first offense.

Make sure you set the stage for your relationship. Check yourself on your own rules concerning lying. Do you lie, even if it is to prevent hurting someone’s feelings or to avoid embarrassment? It’s almost the same idea with children. Set a good example for him.

Let him know why it hurt your feelings and avoid pointing the finger directly at him. Discuss a plan to make new rules together that you both can abide by. And don’t become his mother.

Q: Dear Stacy,

I recently started dating this new guy. We do everything together, eating, working out, you name it. But lately I’ve noticed that he smells a little funny, like B.O. Should I say something to him, and how do I do that?

– Natalie

A: Dear Natalie,

It sounds like you have a lettuce/black pepper-in-the-teeth situation. Do I tell him or her about it? Will he or she be grateful or mortified that I pointed it out?

You should definitely tell him but in a polite and tactful manner. Avoid saying something like, “Whew, something smells funky – I think it’s you.” Don’t attack him or laugh about it. It’s not a joking matter.

Try this: Check and make sure he’s wearing deodorant in the first place. If he’s not, boy, do you have a situation on your hands, a gross one.

Make sure he knows the difference between deodorant and antiperspirant. There are products that combine the two, which is always a safe way to go.

You could then proceed to a more subtle approach: buy him cologne that you’re fond of. Then the gesture seems caring and sweet and saves you from fainting.

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