One phrase that got drilled into my head when I was a kid was, “Nothing is free.”
Anytime my sisters or I would be all excited about our free sucker at the bank, we’d say, “Look Dad, a free sucker!” and he would say, “Nothing is free.”
Then, because I was a brat, we’d argue about whether or not this was in fact true.
His point was that everything costs somebody something. If you want to be really extreme about it, you can even say that sunlight costs the sun its energy and a blade of grass that you freely pick and toss on the ground cost that grass effort in photosynthesis.
Nevertheless, some things can be relatively free. Sometimes things are free for you and me. Sometimes someone else picks up the tab. I like that. It’s always nice having someone else pay your debts.
I’ll avoid all of the more serious aspects of what it means to have someone else pay something for you (ever heard the phrase “freedom’s never free?”) and just talk about the parts that don’t make you feel obligated to do anything because you’ve been blessed.
Free things that come carefree are the best.
Anyway, I got a lot of free stuff a few days ago, so I decided to praise free things.
It all started when one of my classes was going to take a field trip to a museum that was going to cost us $4 (cash or check). I never carry cash, and although a $4 check seems a bit like overkill, that’s how I planned on paying.
Since I don’t carry a checkbook, I put one blank check in my wallet just for the museum visit.
However, when I went to the bank to deposit my paycheck, I realized that I could have them give me four dollars back from my deposit.
I did this and thought, “Hey, I just saved a check. That’s like one millionth of a tree. I’m saving the environment. I’m cool.” (Actually, I didn’t think anything like that. I just thought I was cool for remembering that you can actually get cash from the bank).
This field trip wasn’t until 7 p.m. and I get off work at 5:45 p.m. My wife happened to still be at the restaurant she works at, so I stopped by for a bite to eat.
Normally, I use my credit card to pay for everything, but MasterCard caught me off guard by denying a charge I tried to make that day due to the fact that the security of my card had been put at risk because some employee of a place at which I shopped was stealing card numbers (or so I assume).
Anyway, all I had in my wallet was a useless credit card, a check that the restaurant wouldn’t take, and the $4 I had planned on using to pay for my impending museum visit.
A bowl of soup at the restaurant cost $4.49 plus tax. My wife had $.17 cents on her. I was $.32 cents short. Dang.
So I went out to her car and found another dollar bill and $.80 cents stashed in her glove box. I could get some soup and still use my check for the $4 entry fee to the museum.
I ordered my soup with my$5 and $.90 cents in hand, but my wife’s manager saw me (though we’ve still never met) and, though he was obviously quite busy and actually in the midst of talking on the phone, came over to the register I was at and comped the meal.
By the way, I don’t think he knew anything about my cash/check dilemma. He walked off without saying anything (since he was on the phone), and the cashier said, “Your meal is free.” I didn’t even get a chance to thank the manager.
I still had my check and my four dollars (and my wife got to keep her dollar and change). It was good soup, too.
When I drove up to the museum, a classmate informed me that there was a metered parking spot right across the street but that the meter had stopped charging at 6:00. Another classmate said something to the effect of, “Lucky you. I paid $5 to park in a lot down the street.”
Then we got into the museum. No one ever asked for our money. We finished our tour and presentation, and still no one asked us for our money.
Before I left, I asked my professor, “Whatever happened to the $4 entry fee?”
His reply? “I guess they’re going to include it in my bill. Don’t worry about it.”
So I had my $4 and my blank check and I ended up not having to spend any of the money that I thought I was going to have to spend that day. How often does that happen?
Matt Brumit is a junior Humanities major. He can be reached for comment at [email protected]
