This is an exciting time for most people. School is back in session and everyone is ready to see all their friends after a long and boring summer in which nothing exciting happened.

Others, like me, are scared of the upcoming workload and miss the days of finger painting and reading “Romeo and Juliet” in high school English.

And there’s even another group: freshmen (or “fresh people” if we’re getting politically correct here. For the sake of this article, I’m going to say freshmen. If you find this offensive, send all hate letters to [email protected]). Freshmen are the new kids on the block. As new kids on the block, freshmen will hopefully remember that it is required to read my article every week.

Since this is the very first article of the school year, I thought I would give out some advice to the new students passing through Convocation and such. By the time you read this, Convocation will be over. Hopefully, you went to it. If you went to it and asked yourself, “Why are we here? It’s hot. I want to go back to my dorm. Are you going to that party later?” You are not alone. I asked myself those questions too; I even went so far as to say that Convocation was pointless. I was dead wrong.

About halfway through the year I realized how amazing it is to be an SMU Mustang, traditions and ceremonies and all. It was actually pretty cool.

Another important thing to remember is that the main library has TONS of VHS tapes (do people still have those? My roommate informs me that they do) and DVDs so you can relax when the workload gets too heavy in like, 2 weeks.

Be nice to everyone! You never know who will be the next president of the United States of America.

Don’t do drugs; they are not good for you.

And the most important piece of advice: The “dream guy” you met at the frat party the other night may not be the same dream guy when you’re sober and trying to look for your clothes. Fall in love, not lust. Read a good book. Have a picnic with someone you care about. Smile at someone you think is cute. Floss your teeth.

That’s about it, but we do have time to answer one e-mail. This one comes from Amanda in Dallas:

“Dear John Paul Green,

Recently my boyfriend of two months dumped me for some high school senior. I was crushed. I couldn’t stop crying for days. I hate him so much. I hide outside of his window every night so that I can get a good look at that cheating jerk. Should I kidnap him and make him pay for breaking up with me? “

No, Amanda.

John Paul Green is a sophomore theater major. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].