Q: Dear Stacy,

I’m struggling with whether or not to say something to this guy I’m dating about what we are. We went out as a couple last Friday, and he introduced me to his friends like this: “This is Anne.” They knew we were together, though. When is it okay to call him my boyfriend? We spend a lot of time together, and I’d like to know soon so I know whether or not I’m supposed to conscientiously commit to this or not. -Anne

A: Dear Anne,

Your dilemma is mutually shared amongst many women. We tend to look at dating as an investment. Why would we ever buy $1,000 worth of ABC stock if we knew that ABC would plummet as quickly as the money we invested? Most of the time, we’re not foolish creatures and are cautious before we even step foot into any relationship. And while women have every right to look at potential partners in this sense, sometimes it can be detrimental, too.

Men seem to have it made. In dating, their façade exhibits nonchalance. Do you ever hear of guys struggling with a huge zit the night before a big date? So, maybe they’ve got the key. Don’t stress while dating. Take it all as it comes to you.

This guy you’ve been seeing is well aware that you like him, and obviously he likes you enough to introduce you to his buddies. But forcing a title before it’s warranted could leave you with a broken heart. Guys freak under pressure. And think about it this way – what would you say that isn’t awkward? “So babe, can I be your girlfriend?”

As straightforward and easy as it sounds, you’ll get the guy thinking about commitment possibly before he’s even ready. If you’re going to bring it up, be tactful so you don’t leave him in shock and fumbling for words. A simpler alternative is to ask about whether or not you guys are dating exclusively. Then at least you’re on the map somewhere.

But every guy is different. On the other hand, most guys prefer titles to come naturally and would rather invest in your stock.

Q: Dear Stacy,

Why do girls feel the need to gossip about the guy they’re dating so much?

-RussellA: Dear Russell,

Girls discuss things going on in their life no matter if there’s a boy or not. If a girl gets a pedicure that day, she’s going to talk about it. Not that I’m saying you’re just a pedicure, but you’re an aspect of her life, too.

I wouldn’t call what girls do “gossip” per se, but maybe it should be considered bragging, instead. She’s proud that you’re hers, and she’s proud of you in general.

When a girl talks about her man, she’s sharing the details of her life with her friends, like her pedicure. Maybe you’re not a pedicure but more like a day at the spa.

What is interesting, though, is that guys are guilty of the same offense, but they do it in a slightly different manner. Instead of saying to their homies, “Geez, my girlfriend has such an amazing heart,” he will gladly brag, “Yo dude, my girlfriend has the hottest breasts. They’re as big as Pamela Anderson’s!” Guys have an obsession with talking about physicality and feel compelled to focus solely on that one subject. To our dismay, it’s because everything around us tells us that’s what’s cool. Can you imagine if girls were to do that, too? “Have you seen John’s penis? OMG! It’s as skinny as my mascara bottle!” There would be a revolution amongst us all.

Q: Dear Stacy,

If a girl goes down on you, is it necessary to return the favor? -Benjamin

A: Dear Benjamin,

Someone should write a manual on dating so that we all know what the ground rules are. And there should be footnotes for every possible situation. Then again, how fun would it be if you could guess your opponent’s every move?

Anyway, my answer is: ask yourself what is more courteous. For both sexes, it’s like taking Robitussin when you were a child. You gave your hands and body a quick shake, took a deep breath, held your nose and took it. If she did all of that preparation and execution for you, it might be nice for you to show her that you’re not a selfish jerk.

But again, every situation varies, so ask yourself what is the more courteous thing to do.

Stacy Seebode is a senior journalism major. She may be reached at [email protected]