Q: Dear Stacy,

What is the appropriate amount of time for your boyfriend to spend with his friends? My boyfriend doesn’t think playing video games with his friends for four hoursàis enough quality time. I don’t get enough quality time with him.

-Louise

A: Dear Louise,

Men tend to have a misconception about quality time. They think that hooking up, sharing a quick 15-minute dinner, chatting briefly on the phone, watching ESPN while you sit quietly next to him and sleeping all count as quality time. Women, on the other hand, define quality time as time when we actually get to talk to our partner and do something involving some kind of interaction. A lot of women spend too much time being naggers and asking their mates, “What are you thinking about?” If he’s quiet during quality time, it’s got nothing to do with you. He honestly has nothing profound to say or add to the conversation. So, don’t misunderstand his silence. Men speak when it’s necessary, whereas women love to shoot the breeze and blab on until their next hair appointment.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages,” describes the need to keep your love tank full. In order to do that, you need to feel as though he cares. He says that people have different ways of giving and receiving love, such as quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. In your case, it sounds like you receive his love by getting his attention and receiving quality time. It sounds like you want his undivided attention, minus the World Champion Poker Tournament, for just a small bit of time. Try sitting down and discussing each other’s day without ANY distractions, such as cell phones, TV in the background or painting your toenails. Maybe use your allotted time to take a nice walk together. If you both can agree on something that you would like to do together, the experience will be that much more worthwhile.

Now that you’ve discovered how to get your quality time with him, you have to leave him alone to go out with his friends. If he gets to spend time around bulks of testosterone, he’ll need to offset that with some estrogen (you). Also, if he’s in college, too, remember that he only gets four years with his tequila buddies and gets eternity with you. So be fair and resist the urge to be greedy.

Q: Dear Stacy,

Does size matter?

-Jeff

A: Dear Jeff,

I was waiting for a question as asinine but realistic as this one. It’s such an unfair world out there in terms of dating. Pornography tells men that in order to ultimately please a woman, you have to have a Subway foot-long. So, what in the world do you have to look forward to if you’re as small as a roll of dimes? Another factor is gossip. Women make jokes all the time about men, particularly their size. To their closest girlfriends, this secret is revealed. “OMG! Did you know that Bob has a penis the size of my pinkie?!” Sadly, the information is out there, but to keep your spirits up, you can’t help that, so be confident with what you have. It’s definitely unfair, because it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with an unlucky set of genes.

Don’t let outside pressure get to you and make you insecure about it; every woman has different needs. To some, size can make or break a blooming relationship. For others, it doesn’t matter, for your heart outweighs your insecurity. There are other things that you and your mate can do to help add to what you think you lack (i.e. oral sex, games, toys, etc.). Everybody’s got to mate with someone – microscopic, medium, large, too big, etc.

Q: Dear Stacy,

What is the appropriate time period to start dating again after a breakup?

—Ashley

A: Dear Ashley,

Whenever you’re ready. But, in the case that you’re trying to avoid looking like a soulless *bleep*, wait a bit. Every case is different. So don’t pay any attention to people’s judgments. When you feel you’re ready, get out there.

Stacy Seebode is a senior journalism major. She may be reached at [email protected].