My generation is accustomed to the luxury of high speed Internet. Those of us in school are especially used to Web sites loading in a matter of seconds. I kept track of the amount of time it took my most frequently-visited Web sites to fully load – Google: two seconds, Webmail: four seconds, Yahoo: five seconds, Facebook: five seconds and Billboard: a whopping 24 seconds. While waiting for the Billboard Web site to load, I grew impatient, even worried. Is something wrong? Why is it going so slow? I was tripping a little because I am accustomed to high-speed service.
Now, whenever we use public or other people’s computers that are not as fast as our own, we get a bit bothered. When our own computers run like turtles, we find it distasteful because we’re unaccustomed to it. Back in 1998, when dial-up was the norm, we probably would have been fine waiting 15 minutes for a Web site to completely load. Today, we get aggravated after waiting five seconds. In fact, if it takes more than 30 seconds for a Word document to download, we dial tech support.
Now, envision the same evolution of impatience applied to sexuality. Two to three generations ago, abstinence, celibacy and courtship were the norms. Holding hands was the “it” that gave women chills and that studs bragged about to their brothers. Today in our twisted world, things have changed. One-night stands, first-date hook-ups and casual dating are quite common.
There are also those who “commit” to relationships and become “boyfriends” and “girlfriends” after three long months of late-night phone conversations, weekend trips to AMC and frequent text-message exchanges during class. I’ve overheard people exclaim, “You were together for six months? Wow, that’s a really long time.” Here’s a better one: “You’ve been dating for three months and you still haven’t slept together? That’s crazy!” This is common, but it doesn’t have to be.
I recognize there are still plenty of men and women who choose to walk in dignity and respect; those who choose not to stoop down to casual dating or worse, casual sex; those who choose to wait until marriage knowing it’s well worth the wait. Hats off to you. Do not grow weary in doing good because at the proper time, your reward will come.
Just like with the speed increase of the Internet, people’s standard of waiting did not change until they got a taste of the newer, faster way. Those who have never experienced high-speed DSL or satellite remain copasetic with waiting several minutes for Web sites to load and hours for files to download. On the other hand, those who have sampled a taste of the new high-speed service would probably go insane if they went back to dial-up.
Similar to this, those of you who have not yet “gone all the way” have a greater chance of enduring the wait and finishing the race triumphantly. I speak directly to you: Save yourselves the agony. Don’t dip your feet in the pool to test the waters; it will only make it more difficult for you to stay away from it in the future. Sex is overrated, don’t buy into the hype. No one ever said waiting was bad, and as a matter of fact, it’s not. Just like dial-up, waiting until you’re married costs less – you won’t lose your soul. And sticking with dial-up saves you a bundle too: your dignity, pride, self-respect, identity, unnecessary heartache and the list goes on. On the other hand, if you want quick, cheap fun, then dive right in!
But I know it’s not what you want. What woman wants to be known for providing the best one-night stand? What man wants to be seen with a woman half his buddies have been with? I know you want something more meaningful and precious. You want something longer-lasting than a seasonal reality TV show.
Stick with that desire for something greater and press on, because it’s worth the wait. If you’re currently in a sexually active relationship but want to change gears because you’ve realized the rewards of waiting outweigh the effort, you might have to consider doing a full-house cleanup. You might have to wave bye-bye to your current partner in order to have a successful new lifestyle. There’s a good chance he or she won’t to want to go back to dial-up. That’s OK; you’ll both survive – just not together.
Do what’s best for you, because if your current “love” is selfish enough to sacrifice your relationship just to cling on to his or her flesh desires, then that’s not your keeper. So like they say back where I’m from, “Chunk the deuce!”
One last thing: Realize just like a recovering caffeine addict who has just been cut off from Starbucks, you will have difficulties without your DSL. It’s not going to be easy, but keep your eyes on the prize because there’s good news: there’s help that guarantees triumph. I personally vouch for Him because he’s worked for me. His name is Jesus Christ. Look Him up, call Him out, and wait for Him to come and show you some pretty neat things. Don’t rely on me, critics or anyone else to tell you how he works – because they can’t. You’d have to find out for yourself. It will take some time, but sure enough one day He’ll have you saying, “DSL who?”
Christene Dino is a sophomore business major. She can be reached at cdino@smu.edu.
