The Single Guy
One of the most nerve racking experiences in the dating world is meeting the parents of your squeeze. It’s perfectly common to have jitters when being introduced to someone’s parents. After all, this is a huge step in any relationship. The mark you leave on the parents of the person you are dating can, and probably will, have a lasting effect on the relationship.
First impressions are how the parents will see you until they really get to know you. It’s impossible to get to really know someone for the weekend or even within a week, but that’s how long you’ll most likely have to leave your mark on the family.
It may sound obvious but punctuality is key in getting off on the right foot. This way as soon as you walk through the door you don’t have to apologize for being late or try to make excuses for why you were late.
Appropriate dress is also something required. Wear something you are comfortable in but at the same time shows respect.
It’s not about being who you want to be, it’s about presenting yourself appropriately for the situation. A perfect guideline for dressing would be to wear what you would wear to a job interview. In essence, meeting the parents is an interview of sorts.
A nice gift presented to the mother wouldn’t hurt either. A nice wine-if you are of age-or flowers should do. And if you can bring wine, don’t down it or any other alcoholic beverage in sight even if your nerves get the best of you.
Don’t bring something over the top like a cake or something too personal. You don’t know them yet; you are just trying to get acquainted.
While engaged in conversation, make sure you can hold your own on a variety of subjects, especially current events. It shows that you are up to date and educated.
If you get quizzed or asked about something you have no knowledge of, don’t pretend like you know what you are talking about. Ask for more information on the subject. Not only does it show interest in the conversation, you may actually learn something.
If you have differing views, there’s no point in arguing, it’s just not worth it. There are ways to let them know you don’t wish to discuss something without being argumentative.
Also, don’t make yourself too much at home. This is even truer on the first meeting. How would you feel if a stranger came into your home and rummaged through your refrigerator?
Even more importantly, for guys at least, keep your hands off of the remote control to the TV unless it is handed to you by the father. All guys know that the remote is a territorial icon of a home, so don’t go grabbing big poppa’s remote. Don’t vehemently root against the favorite football team of the father either. His team will win every time if you do this, and simply put, you’ll look like an ass whether they win or lose.
Hopefully, you were raised with proper dinner etiquette. While eating, make sure your own parent’s teachings are reflected by how you eat your meal. Try to eat a little bit of everything. And make sure if you put it on your plate you eat all of it. Even if you are under the impression that you don’t have to eat everything, not eating it will undermine the mother’s cooking skills or selection. This is a gamble that nine times out of 10 the house wins.
No matter how head over heels in love you are with your girlfriend or boyfriend don’t go around the house constantly displaying your affection for one another. Sure the parents may have an idea of what’s going on behind closed doors, but don’t provide them with hardcore evidence.
Most likely, the two of you are going to have to sleep in different rooms. It’s never a good idea to sneak into the other’s room for a late night romp, but nevertheless, it’s tried all the time. I’m guilty of this myself. The only problem was that we got caught. Needless to say, the rest of the visit was spoiled because I found it hard to keep eye contact with either of the parents. It also ruined the relationship.
In all, this first visit will test your nerves. Basically, it boils down to common sense. The holidays are here, so visits with the family will be inevitable in the next month and a half. The first time is always the most difficult, but after that, things should go much more smoothly.
