I can feel it in the air.
The freeze-over left Dallas in a murky, unpleasant state, foreshadowing what’s about to come: Breaksgiving.
While most people anticipate the most glorious, gluttonous holiday, others anxiously await to break up with their long-distant significant other.
Breaksgiving, also known as The Turkey Drop, commonly occurs amongst college freshmen who have decided to stay with their high school sweetheart and pursue a long-distance relationship.
The adjustment is huge.
Couples go from seeing each other everyday at school and living in such close proximity to one another to barely seeing each other and physically being thousand of miles apart.
This can cause a huge strain on the relationship.
Anger, jealousy and trust issues can arise if there is no adequate communication between the two. Conflicting schedules can post-pone Skype dates for several days or even weeks. On top of it all, time differences must be calculated to figure out when your significant other is even awake.
This can physically and mentally take a toll on your body.
You lose sleep because you’re waiting up for them or because you two are Skyping. You may feel anxious or depressed when you are out because you miss your boyfriend/girlfriend. And you have to resist any moment of temptation that is literally thrusted upon you (aka horny college students at parties).
You’re also adjusting to college. You’re constantly meeting new people. You’re interacting and connecting with different, intriguing people that may leave you wondering if staying in a relationship is worth it.
And I just want to point out that this behavior is normal.
It’s natural to wonder what your life would be like as a truly single individual in college. The media constantly presents college as the apex of your life, and you might as well enjoy it single, right?
You wouldn’t have to worry about checking in with your significant other while you’re out. You can sleep around with whomever you please. You’re an independent young adult who doesn’t need a man/woman.
This may lead you to think about breaking up with your current partner.
And if you’ve been mustering over these “what if I was single?” thoughts for a long time, then I suggest that you do break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
The difference between wondering “what if?” and genuinely losing interest in your significant other should become apparent to you.
Have you started to communicate less? Do you write shorter, less charismatic responses? Do you not care if you two are unable to text/call/Skype for a long period of time? Are memories of your relationship better than the actual state it’s in now?
Answering yes to most of these questions would make me assume that you aren’t as committed as you may have been in the beginning of this relationship.
It’s understandable.
It’s a lot of work- constantly checking your phone, finding narrow time frames that fit both schedules and having to schedule every opportunity to meet is exhausting.
There is a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone.
If you are still in love with your significant other, I believe you both will find ways to cope and make it work. The fights and stresses with long distance almost makes it unbearable, but somehow you two have found ways to solve issues and work through it. Being apart for months is terrible, but seeing each other for that span of time makes everything worthwhile.
If you love someone, you deeply care for them. You may have been in love for a while, but now the relationship has become too stressful. You used to think this person was perhaps “the one,” but now you’re starting to see each other grow apart.
Deep down, your gut should be telling you what you need to do.
If you two can manage to work through the rough patches and adjustments with a long-distance relationship, then you deserve an award. Cause it’s tough, but it eventually gets easier. And being without that person is much harder than being apart from them.
But if you decide to go ahead with The Turkey Drop, please be gentle.
You’ll most likely be around family and close friends, so you should find a private moment to break up and not make a spectacle of it.
Also, be empathetic. Hold them if they break down and let them know you’re sorry for being put through all this.
And lastly, tell the truth. Don’t give your significant other a vague, generic reason for ending things- be upfront and tell them how you’ve been feeling. Not only will they value your respect, you’ll feel a lot better once that weight is lifted off your plate.