Dude, Where’s My Campus?

Okay, I know a lot of you live in a box, but if you are readingThe Daily Campus, you probably knew that Tuesday, Bob Doleand Al Gore got lost and ended up at SMU.

Well, maybe I stretched the truth a bit, but they definitelyshowed up to talk at Hughes-Trigg Tuesday. Of course, this isnothing new. In fact, many people knew about this so far in advancethat they booked seats ahead of time. More importantly, thesepeople were high school students.

Let’s just go over that again. Non-SMU students, who in noway benefit SMU, took roughly half the seating in the Hughes-TriggBallroom before most SMU students had even heard of the forum.Worst of all, while Billy High School had roughly half the damnroom reserved, SMU students were not even permitted to hold a spotfor fellow students who were there for a class. To put it inperspective, I showed up about an hour early and barely got a seatbefore about seven school busses came crashing through the wallsand disgorged upon us around a hundred gibbering idiots.

That’s exactly what they were too, idiots. They wastedvaluable time with some of the most mind-numbing, stupid questionsI have ever heard. Former Vice President Gore and SenatorDole’s decades of experience were challenged by such deep andinsightful questions as “Do you like televisiondebates?” and “Are you a proponent of the 18-year-oldvoting age?” In the meantime, useless and unimportantquestions such as “How can a developing nation like Iraq beexpected to prosper in the face of free trade, environmentalstandards and/or a ban on GM crops?” remain unasked becauseJimmy didn’t know what the electoral college was.

Yes, that was my question, and yes, I am bitter because I wantedto know the answer. But I won’t because people arestupid.

Seriously, I have never felt more like my time was wasted. Thesequestions that were being asked should not have been. Next time, Ipropose that we have a basic political competency exam or‘tard net’ at the door to make sure that decent,intelligent, or at least paying students get a chance to voicetheir questions and worries. I only heard one well-phrased argumentfrom some dude in a suit, but I forget his name because I’veblocked most of my memories of the incident.

I do remember one point, however. I distinctly recall someoneasking, “Do you think people believe you aren’t smartenough to vote if you are only 18?”

Speaking of idiots

Now, the troglodyte who asked this has a decent point. Not about18-year-olds, of course, but idiots in general. More specifically,how do we deal with morons voting? I can tell you one thing —all these MTV “Get Out the Vote,” “Rock theVote” and “Vote Boat” campaigns are not helping.In fact, they are convincing people that thinking about your votedoes not count, but the act of voting does. These campaigns furtherthe cause of straight ticket voting, uninformed and uncaringnebbishes molding the country in their own image. More importantly,these campaigns are unconstitutional.

One of the cornerstones of our nation is the freedom of choice.For example, I enjoy voting. I enjoy voting because my vote counts.When barely half of the nation votes, it means that my vote countsfor two people; my choice counts as mine and one otherperson’s. This is good, because at any given time, I can nameat least one person, right off the top of my head, whose opinionshould not be taken seriously. In fact, one of them may or may notbe running for president. For all you know, he may even bepresident. But you don’t know. I chose not to tell you.Democracy in action, right here.

The point is if we keep convincing Special Roy and Mongo to headto the polling stations, my vote is going to count for a lot lessthan two people, devaluing my choice and making my opinion far lessimportant. Eventually its value will be the same as everyoneelse’s, and that, my friends, is communism, pure andsimple.

Now, I’m not saying we should keep people from voting. AllI’m saying is that a rock doesn’t hurt anyone until youthrow it. Except for sharp rocks, because you can fall on them andscrape your knee pretty bad, so don’t vote.

Austin Rucker is a sophomore philosophy major. He may becontacted at [email protected].