Online dating gains acceptance
Internet dating is a minefield.
“I was out on a date with one guy, I think his name wasBill, and for 30 or 40 minutes all he kept talking about was hispenis. He literally unzipped his pants right there in the bar, andit wasn’t even that big,” Shannon giggles, relating heraccount of an Internet date gone awry. “I pretended to besick so I would have an excuse to go home, and he insisted onwalking me to my car. Instead of walking to my car, he went over tohis car and said he wanted to show me something. When he opened hiscar door, there was a giant plastic penis in his frontseat!”
Shannon is a 34-year-old administrative manager for a popularmagazine publisher, and like most single women, she is looking forMr. Right. For the past two years, Shannon has dated about 25 menshe met through various dating Web sites.
Despite her unsettling experience with Bill, who is actually aporn star, Shannon said, “You really can meet a lot of greatguys. I still have faith in the system.”
With increasing popularity among singles, Internet dating hasbecome an innovative way to snag a mate. Over 40 million people inthe United States went looking for love on the Web last year andspent an estimated $425 million on their quest for romance.According to research by the Online Publishers Association andcomScore Networks, personals are the Web’s second largestmoneymaker, trailing only pornography.
“I’ve always had the perfect guy in mind,”said Christina Selby, 32-year-old owner of 123 Moving Company.”I just needed to find him.” Following a friend’sadvice, Selby registered on Yahoo! Personals in January 2003.
After describing her perfect mate and looking at pictures of themen who matched, she came across Chris Coulter’s picture.”I thought he was the cutest,” laughs Selby, and theybegan e-mailing immediately.
There is one small catch to their story: Selby lives in Dallasand Coulter resides in Australia, mate! “You really get toknow somebody,” Selby said. “It’s not about whathe drives or what he wears,” she said, adding that when yourrelationship is Web-based, “it can’t be physical, youhave no choice.”
A few short months after they began chatting, Coulter askedSelby to buy a Web cam. The next day, during his Web cam debut, hetold Selby she was everything he’d been looking for, then”he showed me the ring and said ‘This is for you. Ilove you, and I’m going to marry you!'”
It wasn’t until nine months later that Coulter was finallyable to make the trip to Dallas to meet his fiancée inperson. “I’m still at a loss for words. When we met [inperson] it was not awkward, everything just fell into place. Wejust sat there and hugged for two hours,” Selby said.”It was amazing.”
Topping the charts in the online personals category isMatch.com, leading its competitors with over $185 million in saleslast year, according to Hoover’s. Founded in 1995, Match.comis owned by InterActiveCorp, the parent company of entertainmentgiant Ticketmaster, and currently the only publicly traded onlinematching company. Its dating and personals site offers a buffet ofmatching tools for users. Match.com’s physical attractiontest helps you find the physical traits that are sure to turn youon or off. Its Ph.D-designed personality test matches users withthose whom are the most compatible with their personality types,and online Match Advisors are available for one-on-one counselingsessions.
It seems most Internet dating singles are over 25, so what aboutcollege students? According to a recent informal survey of SMUstudents, while only 2 percent have used online matching services,45 percent know someone who has. Of those online daters, over halfare college students, 38 percent of whom attend SMU.
The same survey found that if SMU were to launch an online,students-only matching service, 26 percent of the students would belikely to participate.
“I’d do it,” said 22-year-old SMU junior JoshJones. “I’ve had some terrible experiences, and itwould be a better way to meet people. At least you have commoninterests and similarities. You’re the same age and you go tothe same school. The reality of meeting that person face to faceand sharing some common interests is good,” he said.
Online matching is a force permeating the Internet and the lovelives of countless singles. Using an online source to meet othersgives busy professionals access to an enormous resource. “Shymen are the last men you would meet out,” Shannon said.
“In theory it’s good,” states MIT graduateChristian Trott. “I’m very picky, so it’s hard tofind people I’m interested in.”
As a new business owner, Selby works constantly. “Doingwhat I do, I really have no time, and I think when you’remeant to be with someone it works out,” she said.
Coulter is a business owner and also does not have much freetime.
While Internet dating may not be the solution for everyone, itcertainly changed two lives for the better. Selby left forAustralia on April 2 to visit her fiancé. As for theirwedding plans, Selby said they plan on getting married “nextchance we get! Maybe when I’m in Australia,” she said.Being with him “is just so natural, we’re just insynch. We don’t need a big wedding, it just seems like aformality.” Selby plans to move to Australia permanently inthe near future.
While a wedding is not in Shannon’s near future, sheadmits she’ll continue her online quest for that specialsomeone. “I don’t want to be alone, and I have faithand hope that I will eventually meet the right guy, whetherit’s through the Internet or traditional dating,” shesaid.
And if you’re wondering about being recognized by someonefrom your online ad, “just remember,” Shannon said,”if they see me on there, they’re on there,too.”
