Creepy clothing trends uncanny for regular wear on campus

I must first begin with a disclaimer. I recently noticed that,on The Daily Campus Web site, there was feedback regardingmy last column on Uggs. The response was not particularly positive,to put lightly.

“Why not try encouraging an edgy fashion trend instead ofrehashing a ‘look’ that was barely fashionable twoyears ago?” she wrote. It brings me back to my first week of”Fashion with Fischer,” where I stated, and I quote,”I am no expert in the fashion field.”

I also said that style is “a level of comfort and bohemianqualities that express who you are.”

So although one respondent has written that simply because Ihave Uggs myself, it does not constitute a style as being”in.”

I apologize to anyone that has taken me seriously enough tobecome angered by my opinions, as they are merely that. The factthat I can write 900 words about winking should be an indicationthat all of my columns should be taken lightheartedly.

I am not a mean person; I just like a good laugh. And for therecord, I thought Uggs were cool way before I owned a pair.

Moving on…

I searched high and low for examples of outstanding ordisreputable dressers this week, but came up with nothing.That’s right, not a darn thing. However, this is notnecessarily a good or bad thing.

See, there will always be bad dressers. It’s just anatural affect. If everyone were a “good” dresser, thenwe wouldn’t know we were good. It wouldn’t be goodanymore, but “normal.” It would be like a uniform ofsolidarity. Make sense?

My problem was that there were no outstanding trends this week.But there was nothing to make fun of either. So instead I havedecided to create a short list of fashion pieces that should,perhaps, never be worn. They are simply things that creep me out .. . and I’m not alone.

1) Black socks: I don’t know what it is, but for somereason when black socks are mentioned [which they are all the time]I immediately get a visual of an older man walking outside in themorning with his boxers and tight white Hanes T-shirt on with anopen robe, picking up the morning paper.

I guess you can wear black socks with black shoes, because whitewould certainly be weird.

But be careful not to walk around for too long afteryou’ve taken off your pants — well, I guess you shoulddo that in any case, black socks or not.

Also, I thought this was pretty much understood, but apparentlynot because I witnessed it today — black socks should neverbe worn with shorts. Ever.

2) A jean jacket with jean pants, otherwise known as theCanadian Tuxedo.

This really creeps me out.

Don’t even try this if the washes [or colors] of the jeansare remotely similar [such as any shade of blue]. The onlyexception to the rule that I have ever seen is a girl wearinggreenish jeans with a white jacket, but she was 15-years-old so Ilet it slide.

3) Tevas: I guess about a decade ago these shoes were designedfor multi-purpose outdoor use. Since you’re probably notexperiencing that when walking between buildings, let’s leavethose at home. Plus, the Velcro isn’t a huge turn-on andcreates for major distraction in class.

4) I’ve never been a fan of nude colored tights, or”panty hose.”

When I was little, my mom always made me put them on when goingto church, especially in the fall and winter. I don’t likethem, and I certainly don’t understand the point of nudecolored tights. “They keep your legs warm!” my momsays. How? They’re see-through.

These are especially bad when worn with open-toed shoes and youcan see the little seam at the foot of the tights.

And by the way, who decided that “panty hose” was agood name for these stretchy devices from hell?

5) It really creeps me out when people wear sunglasses inside. Ihave devised a 20 second rule [similar to the five second rule whenfood hits the floor that it is still edible] to delete anyconfusion. You have roughly 20 seconds to take off your sunglassesonce you have entered a building, but once that timer’s up,they have got to be off.

I mean how creepy is that when you’re walking around themall and someone still has his or her sunglasses on? Are thosefluorescent lights too much for ya?

The only exception is P. Diddy, who I just saw Thursday morningon Regis and Kelly. “P. Did” was filling in for Regisand wore his sunglasses the entire show. Yes, this did creep me outa bit, but because he is P. Did and he’s famous, I’lllet it slide.

6) Shoulder pads and spandex stir-up pants. Enough said.

7) I just heard a story where a student was spotted wearing limegreen pleated shorts that were much too short for his stature.

Not only is the lime green color a little off [regardless of thetemperature, it is the middle of October], but also men who wearextremely short shorts are really creepy.

If girls have to abide by the rule that skirts, shorts and thelike should be no shorter than our hands when at our sides, thenwhy shouldn’t boys?

I’m sure we could all come up with a list of additionalcreepy clothing items. I’m happy to take suggestions.

And before you become a “don’t”, be a”do” and memorize this list. We live in a country ofindividuality, but there are some things that just plain creeppeople out. And I’m not alone.

Hill Fischer is a senior English major. She may be contactedat [email protected].