Before I share my heartfelt thoughts, let me backtrack. In case you have not noticed, this past week was Men With Integrity’s Week of Integrity. In case you missed it, there was a tall black prism out by the flagpole all week.
What was the purpose of this and why did people sign it?
Men With Integrity is an organization of women and men that seeks to propel a movement to end sexism and sexual assault. The reason we are called “Men” with Integrity is because we (both men and women) have a vision for a world where men understand the meaning and importance of masculine integrity and therefore stand firmly for honest, safe and healthy relationships of all kinds. This organization was founded because we are living in a culture where ideas and beliefs from various sources encourage male sexual aggression and support violence against women.
The purpose of the Week of Integrity is first and foremost to raise awareness about violence. If you happened to see someone wearing a purple ribbon this month, that’s because the purple ribbon is used to raise awareness about the crime of domestic violence in our communities.
In my mind, this year was a success for various reasons. First, I wanted to connect this organization with other organizations on campus. For example, this year, we partnered with Sigma Phi Omega – a sorority on campus – the Women’s Interest Network and various other groups.
In addition to being out by the flagpole this week, we asked people to sign “the wall.” In doing so, you pledged to support the movement to end violence. We also had a number of speakers planned. We invited Dr. Goodwin from Family Place and Dr. Cortese, an SMU sociology professor, to come out and talk to students.
So now you’re thinking – sure, it’s great to support this movement and sign a wall – but why does it matter?
This brings me back to Take Back the Night from this past Thursday. Take Back the Night was an international march and rally started in the late ’70s. Women held candles and protested the way in which violence permeates the lives of women worldwide. This movement has since grown to symbolize a stand for everyone’s right to feel safe from violence.
Imagine more than thirty men and women who congregate at the flagpole. Candles are passed out and lit. The group begins to walk around the Boulevard in contemplative silence. At various locations on campus, the group pauses and an individual proclaims, “I resolve to celebrate the courage of all who hope for a world free of violence.”
The group echoes, “I resolve to take back the night.” The group moves on and continues to proclaim a world free of fear, violence, sexism and heterosexism – a world of mutuality, hope, peace and justice. Time passes so slowly as I walk in contemplative thought about what the world would look like without violence. As we return to our starting point, we formed a circle.
A woman begins playing her guitar and sings a song that just cuts through my heart and my heart began to weep. Emotions filled me as I thought about the men and women who have suffered and have survived. Guided by the song, my thoughts drifted to the courage and strength these men and women possess.
To be able to wake up and stand up each morning and reclaim their lives. As we all stood entranced by the music, my fraternal brother beside me lifts his candle. Ever so slowly, a feeling of courage washed over the group as each person raised their candle high. That night I believe I saw a glimpse of the peaceful world we envision. As the song ended, the group dispersed and everyone began hugging each other. It was a very emotional experience that helped me to understand why it is important to continue to raise awareness.
Not everyone knows and not everyone cares. But everyone should care – everyone has been affected or knows of someone who has been affected by violence, abuse or rape.
Men With Integrity is not just about raising awareness – we are here to challenge the way men and women define masculinity – to help educate men to recognize healthy relationships. We will have discussions and we will continue to peer educate men to stand up for integrity in their relationships.
To find out more about MWI, please visit menwithintegrity.org. To start your own education process, please join us on Nov. 7 at 12:30 p.m. in the Women’s Center for a brown bag dialogue concerning sexual assault and domestic violence.
About the writer:
Daniel Liu is a junior management science and mathematics double major and the president of Men With Integrity. He can be reached at [email protected].