Ask Nell in Spain
Q: Dear Nell,
My roommate here in Spain is not good with hitting on girls at all. It’s not just that the girls don’t like him, I think they’re repulsed by him. All of this has gotten to the point where I have to actually deny I know him in front of a girl. It seems like he’s always [out of control] and saying the dumbest stuff possible. Should I just start leaving him at home with my Senora?
-Roommates with a [goon]
A: Dear Roommate,
There is nothing worse than having a conversation with an attractive guy and having his inebriated roommate lunge over and tell you the story of what two inches of goo on his fraternity floor did to his feet. In any case, I’ve learned a lot recently about how guys communicate. Instead of asking for something, they strategically punch, grunt, or mutter obscenities at each other. Your roommate should understand that he is preventing you from going out and getting in with the ladies. Express this to him however you need to and tell him that if he doesn’t fix up he’ll find himself in Retiro park by himself with a monkey wrench, chorizo sandwich, and a guy named Ferdi. He’s a guy, he should understand. If anything, take him along, and just split off at the bar or club. He should be able to take care of himself.
Q: Dear Nell,
The last guy I really dated was about a year ago. I’ve had a blast with my friends, but after meeting a ton of new guys, I realized that I no longer have a type. Though not a big deal, I don’t know what kind of guy to look for when I’m ready to settle back down! What do I do?
-Typeless
A: Dear Typeless,
You are going through a common syndrome that people go through as they start to grow up. You’d think that people learn themselves better and figure out more of who they want, but you start to change your mind. I always used to have a type, but as I got older I found myself dating people completely unlike my type. I thought I was just ready for something different, but realized that it’s not the type that matters, but the qualities in a person that you want. The type becomes more and more obsolete with time. I read a great book that offered this advice in finding any girl’s perfect guy: The book says that every girl needs five qualities in men. If you can find one man with all five (which does happen, believe me) you are set. The types are as follows: A guy who can spoil you, a guy who can fix things, a guy you can dance with, a guy you can talk to and a guy you can have great sex with. Though simple, this shows a good point. Don’t worry about what type of person someone is, but rather who he is and what he can offer you. You may find yourself dating someone you never thought you would.
Q: Dear Nell,
I was at a bar recently talking to a really cute girl. In the midst of the conversation, I mentioned something about being in a fraternity, and she said “I don’t date frat guys” and walked away. What gives?
-Stupified
A: Dear Stupified,
As an outside observer, I would be tempted to say that the girl was just being shallow and living by preconceived stereotypes. The gap between the GDI/greek crowd has sadly increased in past years. Everybody seems to have dumb stereotypes of everyone. If someone will walk away from a conversation because you are in a certain stereotyped group, put her in your spent bank and move on. You also might want to consider what you were doing when this girl was talking to you. Did you reek of whiskey, stare at her chest and mutter the words to “Barmaid bring a pitcher, another round of brew … honey why don’t we get drunk…”? Maybe you gave her the wrong impression and she was letting you off by whatever means she could. Either way, it’s in the past, so learn from it and move on.
Q: Dear Nell,
If a guy asks you to “come home with him,” does that imply sex? Some people I know say yes, some say no.
-Confused
A:Dear Confused,
The context of this one statement means a lot. If it is a friend, someone you have a platonic relationship with or a boyfriend/girlfriend then “coming home” really means going home. Now, if this is a person you met through random chance, don’t know their last name and can tell they’re a little bit feisty, probably yes. Most of the guys agree that if they want to take home someone they just met they will propose this idea. One guy asked went as far as to say “Baby, if I just met you, and you’re “coming home” with me, you’d be stupid to think it’s to bake cookies.” If ever in doubt, don’t make the mistakes that many girls do and assume you and a guy are on the same wavelength. Tell a guy before hand – I’m not going home to sleep with you. Take his reaction from there with caution and do whatever feels right. In defense of this line, some guys, while open to the idea of some late night fun, may be OK with you just spending the night. There are decent guys out there.
