For many, college is a time to shed childhood ideals and assume adult responsibilities. These added stresses stem from greater academic demands, a new-found independence, financial responsibility, changes in social life, and new people and temptations. When confronted with the intense pressure of college, many students find it difficult to cope. For some, suicide appears to be the only option.
With the recent alleged suicide of Jaber Sadeq, campus has been forced to confront the issue of suicide. While still rare, suicide rates for Americans under 40 have tripled in the past 45 years, and it is actually the third leading cause of death among young people 15-24 years old, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
Because most suicidal people communicate their intent before they act, it is important for students and faculty to be aware of the warning signs of suicide.
Warning signs can range from depression and withdrawal from social activities to a lack of concern for appearance or preoccupation with death. Any verbal cues, whether direct (“Life isn’t worth living”) or indirect (“Do you think suicide is wrong?”), should be taken seriously.
“The most important thing to tell a friend contemplating suicide is that they need to talk to a professional immediately,” said Karen Settle, director of counseling and testing at SMU. “Suicidal thoughts can be likened to a gushing wound. They need immediate attention.”
Settle said even if you do not believe that a friend will actually take their life, they are in distress and can benefit from your concern and help. Let them express their feelings, and be a non-judgmental listener. Also, do discuss suicide openly and frankly. Above all, emphasize that help is out there.
“Things can get better,” she said.
Depression is the primary cause of suicide, according to Charles Curie, an official from the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Not all depressed people are likely to take their own life, he said, but most suicidal people are suffering from depression.
“We need to help teens make the link between untreated depression and the risk for suicide, and help them identify serious depression or suicide risk in a friend,” Curie said.
Substance-related disorders often accompany a mental disorder, like depression. Youths who reported using alcohol or drugs during the past year were more likely than those who were substance-free to be at risk for suicide, according to the National Household Survey on Drug Abuse.
Of those who committed suicide, 80 percent gave some warning of their intentions or mentioned their feelings to a friend or a family member. There are many signs that can help concerned friends or family identify the risk of suicide in a person. But the issue of suicide can be an awkward and uncomfortable one for many students.
“I would hope I would be able to recognize the risk for suicide in my closest friends,” said junior corporate communications major Courtney Fox. “But in general, due to my lack of knowledge, I would not feel comfortable making a decision about whether a person is suicidal or not.”
For some, the pain outweighs the options which life presents. It seems to be the only way out. However, the person who takes his or her life is not the only victim. Family and friends left behind are confronted with feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and disbelief.
“One of my friends had a family member who committed suicide,” Connor Sorenson, a senior corporate communications major, said. “It is really hard for family members and friends who are left behind. Everyone felt like there was something they could have done. It was hard for me because I couldn’t really help my friend. All I could do was listen.”
One way to begin the healing process is to separate thoughts of the person from the suicide itself. One can be both hurt and confused by the suicide, and still mourn the loss of a loved one. Positive memories should be celebrated. Anger, guilt, confusion, and forgetfulness are common feelings. They are not signs of craziness, rather mourning.
It is important to remember that friends of suicide victims bear no responsibility for the loved one’s death. Someone’s suicide is an event over which only he or she can ultimately control. Friends should understand that while life will never be the same, they will survive.
Another way to help the healing is to join a support group. The Dallas Suicide and Crisis Center offers a unique program for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one to suicide. It is called Survivors of Suicide, or SOS. Here, survivors can go through a similar healing and grieving process with those who share the same feelings.
For those concerned that a friend is contemplating suicide, or are feeling the pain from the loss of loved one, SMU Mental Health Center offers confidential help. Every student at SMU is entitled to counseling sessions, with payment included in tuition fees. Appointments are made in person on the second floor of the student health center. Intervention and after-hours help can be obtained by calling (214) 768-2860.
