Above all others, football reigns supreme
It’s about as early as it can get in a football season; colleges and universities across the nation have opened their seasons (hopefully with the absence of bush fires), high schools are filling the Friday night highlight films, and fresh blades of deep green grass are being trimmed to a height that is scientifically perfect for pigskin play. You smell that? Popcorn, sod and sweat. To a loyal football fan it’s like fresh-baked bread, and I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say I’m hungry. I have observed a few happenings lately, and one thing really stands out.
Football is the greatest sport on earth.
Baseball is at the bottom of the barrel in fan interest. The Oakland A’s have won 20 games in a row … it seems like Clinton was ducking questions the last time the Green Machine was on the bad end of a scoreboard, yet Bill got infinitely more publicity. The players threaten to strike as opposed to throwing them, so it comes as no surprise that the sport is struggling. Who’s the bigger bad guy: Bud Selig (who descended from his pedestal to untangle the quarrel among the common people) or Shaquille O’Neal?
So what’s wrong with Shaq? 58-1. He’s the reason why the United States lost to Argentina in basketball, the first U.S. loss in international competition since we started sending NBA players. Shaq is the most visible basketball player in the world – not counting Jordan – and when he refused to play, it opened the floodgates for NBA stars everywhere to pass on what could have been, and may still be, a golden opportunity. Everyone is raising Satan because the United States lost with NBA players, but let’s be honest. This is the USA B-Team. The Western Conference All-Stars are better than this team. Where’s Kobe Bryant? Where’s Tracy McGrady? Vince Carter? Tim Duncan? Those players are the best in the world, not Jermaine O’Neal and Ben Wallace. Pat Tillman left the NFL’s Arizona Cardinals to join the military and Kevin Garnett is watching Old Glory get burned by Argentines. So basketball-the NBA-is a dwarf compared to the juggernaut that is…
The NFL. John Madden, Monday Night Football and parity. Baseball is an annual battle between the Yankees and the teams who are willing to spend the money to keep up with them (last year’s champions Arizona Diamondbacks, this year’s comeback Braves). The 2003 NBA Finals Championship Trophy has already arrived in Los Angeles in a purple and gold box. But who knew that the New England Patriots would win the Super Bowl over the St. Louis Rams? I’m guessing the same people who thought that Tom Brady was attempting a forward pass in the playoff game against the Raiders.
The only thing that we know about the NFL is that all the old players have new addresses and some big-name quarterback will get hurt, along with Eddie George and Fred Taylor. And a former Cowboy will be caught with some preposterous amount of an illegal substance.
Coaches like Jon Gruden, Tony Dungy and Steve Spurrier have become high-profile stars and can make a world of difference. Tell me this … who’s coaching the U.S. basketball team? This man is about as interesting as a date with A.C. Green and cries every time his teams get eliminated from the playoffs. Alex, who is George Karl?
Even Mustang football is better off. We lost to Navy, but coach Bennett’s comments afterwards were a complete 180 from his predecessor Mike Cave-in who always blamed the players for not being good enough or fast enough. Bennett took all the responsibility for the loss, and we can be sure that his assistants caught more heat than his players did. Thank Bennett for being a man.
Thank God for football. I think the football itself is the most important invention in the history of man. If not for the printing press, I wouldn’t be writing this commentary and you probably wouldn’t know how to read. But who cares about widespread education…as long as I have gridiron greats who don’t strike, and 300-pound linemen who don’t punk out on the country that pays them absurd amounts of money to play a game, I’m happy. Throw me some Rold Golds and cancel my baptism … On Sunday, I’m watching football.
