What happened to gentlemen?
Growing up in the South, I pride myself of being a Southern belle. I am considerate, polite and mind my manners in the same way that other belles do. Yet the days of our equally chivalrous men have gone far away.
Men today lack respect and courtesy for women. The Rhett Butlers of yesterday have turned into the Danny Zukos of today. Being a single woman in today’s society, I have encountered all the ups and downs and absences in men’s manners.
Whatever happened to the days when men stood up when a lady left the table? Opened a door? Or pulled out women’s chairs at dinner? Those times have disappeared and we women are sick of it.
Just the other day I was out at a restaurant with some girlfriends when an extremely pregnant woman and her elderly mother came in. The restaurant was crowded and had a 30 to 45 minute wait. There were no seats available, so the woman and her mother stood in a corner. A large group of men sitting next to us glanced at the pair and continue d their conversation, not moving from their seats. Realizing the men weren’t moving, my friends and I (all females) offered them our seats. Graciously they accepted, and the men never budged.
Millions of incidents like this happen everyday, and we seem to overlook them. Sadly, we’ve gotten used to this behavior. Manners have changed because of the feminine role that women began taking in the ’60s. Less was expected out of men then, and inconsiderate behaviors are their response now. Men don’t open our car doors anymore or any doors at all. And if we want our chair pulled out at dinner, we have to hope that the host or hostess will do it for us.
While I was growing up, my mother always taught me, “Don’t ever call boys. If they want to talk to you, they will call you.”
Yet in this day and age boys not only expect girls to call them, but also to initiate the first interactions.
Not only do guys lack consideration toward their female friends, but to their gi rlfriends as well. Living in a house with 26 other girls, a majority of the girls have boyfriends. What baffles me is the fact that when their boyfriends come pick them up, they call on their cell phones to say they are outside waiting. Then, when the guys drop their girlfriends off, they don’t have the courtesy to walk them to the door.
Cultures have changed drastically from the time when chivalry was as common as a cold, to now where courteous gentlemen are few and far between. Even though cultures have changed, women still deserve and want to be treated with respect. True gentlemen – the ones that bring you flowers, sweep you off your feet and look forward to charming your parents – are gone. We are now left with just men; men who don’t know what it means to be a hopeless romantic or even extend a courteous gesture. It is up to us girls to re-instill the “gentle” into our men.
