Ask Nell
Q: Dear Nell,
My girlfriend can’t stand my friends. I like her … I like them, but truth is, these guys have been my friends forever. Even though she hasn’t said “them or me” (yet), I feel like she’s making me choose. What do I do?
– Torn
A: Dear Torn,
An understanding girlfriend will never make you choose between her and your friends. Friends influence a lot of where a relationship will go, and it seems like you have a decision to make: Make peace between your friends and her, or tell her that she’s got to deal with it. There is one easy solution to this: Don’t mix the two groups. Make time for just your friends (I’m sure they’ll appreciate having just you), or hang out with your girlfriend (without friends). If this is not possible, explain to your girlfriend that friends are friends, and the fact that she is making you choose is not cool. Would she ditch her friends for you? I once dated a guy who had a few obnoxious friends. I’m a very tolerant person, and these guys were one step up from a heinous combination of Hanson,Tom Green and a yapping poodle. Though I didn’t love hanging out with them, I had to respect the fact that my ex’s friends were going to be there. Eventually, I found out that relationships with people get better the less you start fighting them. Make sure your girlfriend knows she is very special and that you will be there for her without having to ditch your friends.
Q: Dear Nell,
Why do girls ask guys, “Do I look fat in this?” Do they really want to hear, “Yeah … you look like a two-ton Duallie.” It gets annoying …
– The Questionmaster
A: Dear Questionmaster,
Hold your horses, cowboy. The reason girls ask this is for a little bit of attention and comfort. A girl knows how she looks, and much less, doesn’t need a guy’s opinion. Girls sometimes just need to hear that they look great. If you told a girl she looked hot first, she would have no need to search for compliments from you. If you need a more detailed answer to your question, go to a bar in Oak Lawn and call any woman there a “2 ton Duallie.” We’ll send you flowers in the hospital. (Note to readers: The Daily Campus will not actually pay for flowers.
Q: Dear Nell,
I met a great (or at least I thought she was) girl at a bar a little while ago. I bought her drinks, pulled out her chair for her and we talked for a really long time. I really thought we clicked. When I left, I gave her my number to call me. The next day, my friends told me that she thought I was trying way too hard and that she would never call me. Since when did being a gentleman go out of style?
– Old fashioned good guy
A: Dear Good Guy,
Old fashioned manners haven’t gone out of style. People have just begun to differ in their pursuit of the opposite sex. 50 years ago (and occasionally now), guys used to pick a girl up, take her out to dinner and ask her for a dance. Modern culture promotes freedom, youth and the pursuit of success. Translation: A guy popping out of a corner at a club while the strobe lights are on and bouncing around behind a girl. Things have changed, but I think that old-fashioned style and manners like politeness, attentiveness and mostly permission, (as in unconscious does not mean willing) are still very important. I think what happened in your case is that the girl you liked was one of those girls who is out for the chase. She probably likes having to do a little work and not being sure if the guy likes her. Think of it as a conquest: You will fight for something you want, but when you have it, you’re not sure you still want it. Many guys and girls do this, so don’t feel singled out. If you are ever in this situation again and really want the girl, let her be a little more attentive to you. This way, no party can claim that the other is “trying too hard.”
