On a warm November afternoon, I was walking to Moody parking garage with my best friend from Baylor when three guys leaned out of their moving SUV and yelled, “She’s cheating on you!”

My initial reaction was laughter. I had never seen any of these guys before, not to mention I was walking with my best friend, not my boyfriend. This instance made me recall an incident earlier in the year, however.

In August, I passed by Boaz, and a girl yelled a very vulgar question at me from her obstructed dorm room window. I had no idea who she was and ignored the comment, not even positive it was directed toward me. I then heard her mumble to her friend, “Should I say it again?” followed by a giggle. After receiving encouragement, the female repeated her offensive question, with more emphasis and impact than the first time.

I disregarded the remarks from the guys in the SUV and the girl in the window as college kids being immature, and I let them go. I admit I have done ridiculous things in the company of my friends, but nothing so person-specific or vulgar, in the Boaz case.

I did nothing to elicit these comments, and I began to wonder what makes individuals act in such ways to people they have never met. Had the cheating comment been directed at a real couple it could have spurned a line of questioning, “What are they talking about? Do you know those guys?” I can only imagine the mortification some would have felt after hearing the disgusting question from the Boaz window and realizing it was clearly directed at them, with others staring nearby.

Any student who has taken a psychology class or has common sense can tell you people do things in groups they would rarely do alone. Something about being able to disperse the blame amongst the group and not be identified as the main perpetrator makes people more willing to offend others. There are also the strong pressures to conform in groups and, at our age, the strong desires to be accepted and to fit in still prevail. In addition, the idea of desensitization, which causes behaviors to impact us less and less as we do them more and more, also factors in.

I suppose the aim of this story is to encourage people to think. Yes, college is a time to have fun and perhaps do things you never could have gotten away with in high school. We may look back on our college years and admit we made some irresponsible decisions: We should have never stayed up all night with friends before that final, maybe eating a whole pizza on our own, just because, was not the best idea, and I have seen plenty of drunken escapades that could easily make this list. The bottom line is we need to start taking responsibility for our actions at some point, and there is no reason why it cannot be today. As kids, we said, “I didn’t know any better.” In high school, we experienced “teenage rebellion.” When many of us are fast-entering our 20s, looking for internships and trying to maintain high grades for graduate level education, it is harder to use these juvenile excuses.

The adage “Hindsight is 20/20” is familiar to most, but there is no reason for us to rely on afterthought to justify our behaviors. The excuses need to stop. Eventually we will not be able to blame our falls from grace on our friends, and forty-year-olds surely cannot get away with yelling obscenities from their cubicle without dealing with the ramifications.

It is possible for your college experience to be both exciting and one you will be proud of after graduation, and as soon as we begin to consider our decisions, both individually and in groups, and accept responsibility for them, the sooner these ideals can coexist.

Kara Maiella is a sophomore CCPA major. She may be contacted at [email protected].