When I left for college two years ago, my heart broke. 1,600 miles separated me in St. Paul, MN from my home in St. Petersburg, FL. I left behind friends I’d been with since kindergarten, a girlfriend I was crazy about, and the family I loved. I didn’t know anyone in the same time zone. The only life I knew was over.
My dad and my stepmom spent a day helping me move in. The next morning, we went out to breakfast and then they left. For the first time in my life, I felt alone.
As I unpacked, I left my door open, hoping someone would drop by and become my new best friend. I introduced myself to most of the people on the floor. They seemed nice; one even offered me my first joint. But it just wasn’t the same.
As the weeks went by, I fell into a routine. I developed friends. My classes picked up. I even got used to eating cafeteria food. But I still couldn’t bring myself to call my dorm room home.
My first semester of college went that way. I adapted, but always felt homesick.
One day, I was walking back from the library with some friends and they asked if I wanted to come back to their place to watch an episode of “Arrested Development.” I agreed, but said I had to stop home first.
It took me a minute to realize what I’d just said. All at once, I realized I’d meant it. I finally considered this my life.
Since then, I’ve transferred to SMU and love school. I can’t imagine living with my parents again. I still love them, but in a different way. I’m far less dependent; I’m an adult now. It seems like a lifetime ago that I wasn’t living on my own.
Almost all my friends had a similar period of adjustment. I’d imagine that most first-years at SMU will have a hard time at first. They won’t be alone.
Getting comfortable at college can be hard, but everyone goes through it. In the end, you emerge stronger and more confident.
There are also a few ways to ease the transition. For one thing, it helps just to know that everyone around you is going through the same thing. No one likes being in a new place on their own.
It’s also good to try new things. For most people, this is the first time they’ve ever lived on their own. It’s time to find out who they are, independent of their family and friends.
Dallas has a lot to offer: symphonies, museums, sports, and all different cultures. SMU is located right in the heart of things; Snider Plaza has great restaurants, and others are just a few minutes away (I highly recommend Yogilicious to all newcomers). There are also all kinds of clubs and organizations on campus. The crazier something sounds, the more likely it is to be the coolest thing you’ve ever done in your life. Even if it’s not, it usually makes for a good story.
A lot of people go crazy their first few weeks at school, and it’s smart to avoid partying too hard. Drugs are illegal, and for almost all first-years, alcohol is too. As a general rule, it’s good to avoid committing felonies.
That being said, many people choose to experiment anyway, and it’s best to be smart about it. Occasionally, drug and alcohol abuse leads to violent crimes. Far more often, people just end up doing things they regret. What seems like a good idea at two in the morning rarely does the next day. As someone as familiar with the walk of shame as my own left kneecap, I can tell you right now that it’s no fun.
It’s also important to keep an open mind about people. Some of my best friends struck me as total nerds when I first met them. Over time, people have a way of surprising you, and almost everyone has something interesting about them. That doesn’t mean you have to like everyone, but it’s good to get to know people before writing them off.
One final piece of advice: Be very careful about where you park. Park ‘N Pony is a ruthless institution. They will find you.
Nathaniel French is a junior theater studies major. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].
