Boy meets girl.
Girl bats lashes at boy.
Boy takes girl out to dinner.
Boy walks girl up to her front door and gently kisses her.
Boy asks girl out for another date.
Girl invites boy over to watch a movie.
Girl holds boy’s hand.
Are they officially dating?
Someone once told me the reason people like Starbucks so much is because a person who has difficulty making one decision is able to make four in a matter of minutes. Do you want non-fat, skim, tall, grande, decaf, whipped cream, one shot of espresso or two?
Why can’t dating be as simple as ordering a tall, decaf, non-fat latte?
Today we’re facing a more complex and somewhat cumbersome dilemma.
You have to be able to make several decisions in order to find one great product.
What should I wear tonight? What restaurant should we go to? Should I have a friend call me during dinner in case it turns out to be the date from hell? When should I kiss her? Should I invite her back to my place? When should I call her for another date? Can I date other people simultaneously?
The questions are endless, and those are just for the first date.
Just imagine the melange of questions that arise before a title status. If your eyebrows are raised and you’re nodding your head, you know that it’s tough out there.
Dating has transformed from holding hands and enjoying a nice pop on mom and dad’s porch swing when you were 15 to constantly doubting your actions, words and mind-reading abilities.
When he says he’ll call tomorrow, will he REALLY call tomorrow?
Then you blame yourself if he doesn’t and think, “Maybe I was too forward.
Maybe I should have worn my Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy bra or that slinky blue dress.”
To make matters more intricate, factor Jack and Cokes and cranberry vodkas into the picture, and boy, do you have a sticky situation.
Most of us tend to be more free-spirited when we’ve had a little to drink.
But our inhibitions are down, which means we’re prone to make colossal mistakes, i.e. candidly telling someone you like them or accidentally make out with him or her. And then what?
So, what does it take nowadays to get to “dating?”
Are you officially dating after three dates, five dates or eight dates?
Will it help if you have your friend talk to him or her to see what the status is? P.S., no pressure tends to make the situation crash in your favor.
If he or she says you guys are just “talking,” is that dating? Are you allowed to “talk” to other people?
It’s not that difficult. Why can’t we just be ourselves and enjoy what it is? People focus too much on the little tidbits, such as the “what if” factor, opposed to enjoying the best part of dating or the getting to know you stage.
Enjoy the simplicity while it’s still there and fresh.
Stop worrying about the minutia. Whatever happens, happens. Don’t try to change it. It is what it is.
Be yourself from day one.
Don’t let your insecurities take over.
Don’t change who you are because you think you’re pleasing the other person.
If you like to sport an excessive amount of aftershave or perfume, do it.
Stop daydreaming in the clouds and speculating what it might become.
Take it for what it is and enjoy it.
The answers
Dating is a process of getting to know someone. It’s about picking out the weeds and finding the extraordinary compatible flowers. If it’s that hard now, it’s only going to get harder. If the question can’t answer itself, maybe it should never be asked.
Stacy Seebode is a senior journalism major. She may be reached at [email protected]