There is nothing better than being in a happy, healthy relationship. Finding someone you can really connect with is something you shouldn’t throw away on a whim. But sometimes, even if you truly think you’ve found “the one,” a break can be the saving grace in a relationship.

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for a long time. Some people wouldn’t like this, but it worked out perfectly for me. I had a boyfriend that I truly cared about and trusted, and I had the freedom to have my own social schedule that didn’t revolve around hanging out with him. It ensured that I didn’t turn into a girl whose only friends were her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s friends. We all know those girls, and we all know how lame that is.

But I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m about to leave my comfort zone. Graduation is creeping up on me faster than I’d like, and the realization that I won’t be walking around the perfectly landscaped SMU campus is sinking in. I’m going to have to say goodbye to people I love. Basically, I’m terrified.

As a result of my I’m-so-freaked-out-about-graduating syndrome, I haven’t been able to put as much effort into my relationship. I’m not very happy, and that obviously doesn’t do great things for the boyfriend. So we decided to take a break.

Some people lose it at the thought of a breakup of any sort. The first thought is that clearly you are not liked, loved, etc. But sometimes that’s just not true.

There are times when you need to be selfish. Taking care of yourself and your needs should be a priority, no matter how serious the relationship is. As far as I’m concerned, if there isn’t a ring, there isn’t a reason not to do what is best for you.

I’m not saying it’s easy, but sometimes it’s the right thing to do. I want to focus on my friends while I’m still here. There are people I see every day that I’ll be lucky to visit with once a year when I’m out of the state and in the workforce. That’s a hard thing to get your head around. My roommate of three years and I will be across the country from each other. Another good friend is leaving for Africa with the Peace Corps. Others are staying at school, and some are going overseas to teach English.

I’m comfortable enough in my relationship that I can recognize when being together is more detrimental than being apart. If you can’t put the time or energy into keeping the relationship good, then you should probably put it on the back burner. Don’t end things for good, just give each other time to do whatever it is you need to do. The great thing is, if your connection is strong enough, the break will probably make the relationship even stronger.

The key is being mature enough to respect each other during the break. Flaunting flirtations on Facebook or in front of your significant other’s friends will only make things worse. Even if you are totally against the break, if your partner needs space, give it to them. Showing someone you trust and care about them enough to let them live their lives means so much more than telling them.

So don’t be afraid of putting yourself first. Spend time with your friends. Make lasting memories with them. If you and your significant other are meant to be, then chances are you will be. There are just a few years you have to spend in college. Make the most of it. Don’t let someone hold you back.

-Liz Ford

Managing Editor