Women’s sexual health is 20 years behind men’s sexual health, according to Dr. Laura Berman, the keynote speaker at the 45th Annual Women’s Symposium on March 3.
Berman is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and obstetrics/gynecology at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University.
 

She has been working as a sex educator and therapist for 20 years, and has written numerous books on women’s sexual health.
 

Only with recent medical inventions, such as Viagra, has there been a need to explore women’s sexual health, Berman said.
 

One example of a misunderstanding in women’s sexual health is that few people understand the difference between the vulva and vagina.
 

She recalled a memory of her son as a toddler when he had asked her if she had a penis.
 

“No, I have a vulva,” Berman replied.
 

“I’m sorry you don’t have a penis,” her son said.
 

Berman also says that there is a lack of comprehension in the major differences between men and women’s sexuality. One of these differences is that men don’t have the same “mechanism” as women that allows for an emotional connection with sex.

This difference dates back to the days when we were hunters and gatherers, said Berman. Women are programmed to multitask, as it was their job to be a gatherer. Men, on the other hand, were hunters and were programmed to be focused in their chores. This means that women are generally more distracted in the sack than men because their minds are constantly running, and so an emotional connection results.

Berman also gave the women in the audience some advice about sex.

“Don’t have sex with someone you don’t want to fall in love with,” she said. “Like it or not, if you have good sex, you’re going to be upset that he doesn’t call the next day, even though yesterday you would never want to hear from him again.”

Another misunderstanding in women’s sexual health today has to do with the tug-of-war of power in relationships.

Berman said there is a difference between power and control.

Women seldom realize that they can have plenty of power in a relationship, while still handing over some control to their partner.

“If you don’t let him have some power,” Berman said. “He will shut down.”

Karen Click, director of the Womens Center said having a space for women to have open communication is important and sexual health is the last frontier when women’s health is discussed.