Ask Nell in Spain
Q: Dear Nell,
I just found out that a guy I was dating was cheating on me. He said he needed to break up because he was too busy, but now that I know what he was really doing, I’m (really, really angry). I feel like calling him and telling him what a jerk he is, but don’t have the guts to do it. Do I just let it go?
– Ready for revenge
A:Dear Ready,
Revenge can be a sweet, sweet but costly thing. Everyone has been hurt by someone they care about, so I know exactly how you feel. I would highly advise you not to call him or go see him. In the end, it will only seem like you can’t let go of it. He’s the jerk, right? Be a little more creative. If anything, plan out what you could do to him and then forget about it. Sometimes it’s just fun to think about something you’d never really do.
Surprisingly there are whole corporations that specialize in making someone feel like a total ass. I read a long time ago about a Web site, www.surprise.com that specializes in customizing products. Believe it or not, for your own satisfaction you can order a roll of custom print toilet paper so you could have some peace of mind with every tear of the roll. Think that’s weird? Try going to www.thepayback.com where you can send dead flowers, boxes of cow dung chocolates, and even a Fed Ex package of dead fish to anyone anonymously. You won’t see his reaction, but just close your eyes and imagine.
A word of caution: always think about something before you do it. I once heard the story of a girl who had her heart broken by a guy who cheated on her. This girl, by a stroke of temporarily insanity, decided to take a picture of her being intimate with another guy and send it to him. Whether sick or just funny, the guy got the picture, turned it over, addressed it to her parents and wrote, “Hi mom and dad! Having a great time in college…” Always think before you act or you too could become a college myth.
Q: Dear Nell,
I’m a sophomore in college now and pretty down about the dating scene. It seemed like meeting guys was a lot easier last year. Is this all just me or is this normal?
– Confused
A: Dear Confused,
You are not alone in the sophomore slump. There is an aura around first-year girls. Being politically correct, many guys assume that girls just coming into college are naive, homesick, and willing to accept a helping hand (literally or not). I remember the first-year questions. At big parties (more like drunk barn crawls) I would get two questions, usually within three minutes of each other. The first: ¨What year are you?¨ and the second: ¨What are you doing after this?¨ This happens all over the world, in high school and college alike. Don’t let it phase you and just remember, first-year boys can also be naive, homesick, and looking for company…
Q: Dear Nell,
Long story short, I hooked up with this one girl at a party…nothing special…but now she’s told all her friends about what happened and that I didn’t call her, etc. I swear hordes of girls will point at me when I go to a party she’s at. How do I make it stop?
– On the Black List A List
A: Dear Black List,
A lot of guys get reputations from a single incident like, say, girls do! Now you can at least understand how girls feel when they too make a mistake and have to deal with the black list. Girls will gossip and share notes: that’s a fact. You can, however, work your best to be nice, polite, and honest with girls you do meet. If anything, just stop hanging out around her and her friends. Players (or guys labeled as such) can change. So just do your best to forget about it and not make the same mistake. Maybe your name is just written in pencil on the black list and you can have a clean record sooner than you know.
