If there’s one thing that Ed Board hates, it’s stupidity. The only thing worse than stupidity itself is rewarding stupidity.

The best example of rewarding stupidity is FOX’s series, “The Simple Life.” Every single episode of this show features Paris Hilton and sidekick Nicole Richie gallivanting around being complete idiots.

Now, there are those who find these two entertaining. Admittedly, it can be humorous to see people screwing things up, but it is much more enjoyable when it’s accidental.

These two can’t possibly be as stupid as they appear on the show. If they were, natural selection would have killed them already. Darwin himself would have arisen from his grave to throw the wacky pair down a flight of stairs in order to protect our species. If they were as dumb as they let on, their job making sausages would have resulted in multiple missing limbs.

Instead, the show’s producers and directors come up with dumb, “wacky” things for them to do on air. You can tell that Paris and Nicole aren’t coming up with these antics on their own. A producer is in the background telling them what to do. They aren’t actors; they’re puppets: wood-headed, gullible, spoiled, anorexic marionettes.

Another thing about this “show” is its star. Who’d ever heard of Paris Hilton before her night vision sex video came out? What is she famous for, beyond being disgustingly rich?

Ed Board must assume that it was enough for FOX executives to create a show entirely about her. Well, that and the success of Jessica Simpson and “The Newlyweds.”

Obviously being dumb as a box of rocks, and rich, is the easiest way to get on television.

Ed board is running out of synonyms for “stupid.”

Why are we giving television shows to stupid, spoiled people? If anyone has an answer, feel free to email The Daily Campus.

Ed Board believes that the American public enjoys seeing rich people act stupid because it makes them feel less inferior. Think about it, we all have our imperfections, but seeing someone else acting (insert synonym for stupid here) takes a little bit of the pressure off of us. “Well, so what if they have umpteen million dollars, at least I don’t have the intellect of a retarded Peruvian gnat.” The lifestyle that is portrayed in these shows is not even remotely close to reality. That is why Ed Board is saddened even deeper when we see people emulating the actions of these dimwitted stars.

The next season of “The Simple Life” should have Paris and Nicole stranded on a desert island with nothing but a pile of sticks, a pocketknife, and savage, hungry boars. Perhaps the boars would eat the dim-witted pair alive as they struggle to figure out how the pocketknife works. Darwin would be proud.