Has everyone heard about the fake students who keep sneakinginto the Dedman Center and sitting in on Wellness classes?Apparently they look, talk and act like real students. Ed Board hasa theory as to how they’re able to pull it off and sneak intoour beloved advanced P.E. classes: THEY ARE STUDENTS.
Every day students are forced to leave Dedman because theydon’t have their SMU ID or the ID is not working properly.While the spirit of the rule is evident, it is more of a uselessburden than anything else. When was the last time some rogue18-year-old tried to sneak into Dedman and take a course?
The militancy with which this rule is often enforced isincomprehensible. One would think that nearly $20,000 in tuitionwould entitle us to go to Wellness class without an ID. Theorieshave circulated about the reason for this practice, but none havejustified denying students the right to go to a class thatthey’ve paid for.
One belief is that Dedman Center funding is based on usage,which is measured in how many people come through the door. Aneasier solution would be to count the classes that take placethere. Let’s do the math: On Mondays, there are five classesof 20 students. If all students show up, how many people used theDedman Center on Monday?
For the slower Ponies, we’ll do this gradeschool-style.
5 x 20 = 100.
The answer is 100.
Maybe the ID policy is to teach responsibility. Call Ol’Uncle Ed Board two biscuits shy of a breakfast, but if a studentwere without an ID, you’d think the hunger of not gettinginto Umphrey Lee or Mac’s Place would teach a littleresponsibility. The sheer frustration of waiting for a neighbor tocome along so that they can get into their residence hall tends toteach a lesson or two as well.
It boggles the mind how missing a class can teachresponsibility. Little kids everywhere long for the day that theirmother says, “You lost your house keys? No school for youtomorrow, missy.”
So, as a collective community, we have to look for that renegadehigh school has-been toting a Jansport and flopping around in Reefsandals. He’s messing it up for everyone. He promises to beeasier to find than the common sense behind the oh-so-strict IDdecree.
