“What the hell is this” is not just about food, it is about food and a whole lot more. H & A are just serving it like it’s hot. Bringing it to you right off the meat rack. From the window to the wall. We make people turn their headphones up.


 About two weeks ago, I went in pursuit of some good old greasy cheesy Tex-Mex. Mi Cocina was becoming too familiar and trendy, so I needed something different. Mia’s Tex-Mex Restaurant, located at 4322 Lemmon, was calling my name. It kept saying Brisket Tacos! Brisket Tacos!! Brisket Tacos!!! But, when I got there, Sunset Enchiladas seemed more palatable. As always, Mia’s was about to come through big time, until a hair was found in my sunset sauce. I hollered, “Yo amigo Pedro!” As he approached, I pointed at my discovery and said, “Mira! Que es esto!?” He was shocked, and he had a look on his face that reminded me of the time I first saw Lindsay Lohan. Damn that Lindsay Lohan! Pedro took the plate and promised me a new set of enchiladas, but I told him I was in good health with my Mambo Taxi. The manager of the restaurant came over to tell me that my discovery was false, and I told him not to talk about Lindsay that way. Then I saw my plate in his hand and realized he was claiming that my south of the border friend was no where to be found. I told him to get me another Mambo Taxi. He then told me to search for my lost buddy. I told him to get me another Mambo Taxi. I got my Mambo Taxi –

Before H & A’s weekly bottle buying at Nikita, we decided to enjoy a nice kobe steak at Tei Tei Robata Bar. Tei Tei brings authentic Japanese cuisine to the table, not that mayo multi-colored food you get at Steel or Nobu. Enjoy some Toro Sushi or a Feed Me Roll, Beef on the Rock or, if you ball the Lobster, it’s soothing like a mother’s touch. Tei Tei can be as expensive as you want it to be ($15-$100). Oh, by the way, Tei Tei is walking distance to Candle Room. So, get sushied up and then get liquored up, H&A style, and enjoy a sexy party this weekend.

For all of you fans out there, we are pleased to let you know that there will be a H&A’s Q&A section starting with next week’s article. So, if you need to get the lowdown on that Rueben at that new bistro in town or fancy a review for that restaurant you’re thinking about taking your honey to for V-day, drop us a line and we’ll let you know. This is H & A, fair, balanced, telling you how it is.

Harrison Polsky and Alexander Schmidt can be reached at [email protected]