Thank God for TiVo. It is truly an amazing device. You can skip commercials. You can record programs when you’re not there. You can even set up a “season pass” for your favorite shows. But, TiVo offers one amazing feature that stands out among the rest: TiVo enables viewers to fast-forward through Oprah Winfrey’s “I’m-better-than-you-and-make-billions-of-dollars-and-am-amazing-in-every-way-possible” moments.
Yes, I know Oprah has an abundance of accomplishments. She has helped countless numbers of individuals who are less fortunate, have overcome hardships or have survived devastation. Recently, Oprah, who was sexually abused as a child, has directed her focus toward putting away some of the country’s most wanted pedophiles.
So, of course she’s a kind-hearted person with more achievements than most are even close to jotting down on their resumes. But, good things aside, she can still really annoy us when we watch.
From celebrity interviews to big-budget give-a-ways, Oprah truly finds a way to get on my very last nerve. Whether she has to remind us that she’s “best friends EVER” with Julia Roberts or that she’s donating her very own money to a certain cause or charity, she always manages to do it in the most egotistical fashion on the planet.
One of my favorite annoying Oprah moments was when she got her ears pierced on her show. Does anyone really care to watch someone get their ears pierced on television? The only thing worse than the actually ear-piercing itself was Oprah’s predictable reasoning behind finally enduring the pain: She didn’t want her five-carat diamond earrings to be clip-ons. Heaven forbid!
Another annoying Oprah moment was on one of her “Favorite Things” shows. The bi-yearly episodes show Miss Winfrey giving away her most prized material possessions to a lucky audience. On last years spring edition, Oprah gave away her absolute faaaaaavorite pair of slippers and informed the audience that they were the exact replica of the pair she wore on John Travolta’s plane!
Is she serious? If anyone doesn’t need to name-drop, it’s Oprah. Forbes branded her the ninth most powerful woman in the world, she has a net-worth of over a billion and she has a highly successful show that airs in 112 countries. So, why does she waste her time name-dropping movie stars who aren’t even as famous or wealthy as she is?
Oprah actually isn’t the most obnoxious thing on her show, oddly enough. That prize goes to her audience full of women who probably have altars to Oprah at home, pray to Oprah at night and kneel down to Oprah when they’re finally graced with her presence. These are the women who scream, cry and feel their lives might finally be complete now that they are in the midst of “Queen O.” Oprah’s team of trusty producers and camera-men make sure they catch every heart-wrenching glimpse of these Oprah-worshipers shaking and covering their mouths when their idol finally strolls onto the stage. Then viewers at home get to watch (or hopefully fast-forward though) Oprah absorbing the love her little disciples show her.
Some of Oprah’s recent topics have touched on some very important issues such as Hurricane Katrina and poverty in America. Others can probably be summed up in a word: ridiculous. Hopefully, everyone felt as lucky as I did when I tuned in to watch Oprah pick out a new litter of dogs or show us her massive closet at home. It’s times like these when the fast-forward button on my trusty TiVo truly comes in handy.
It’s not that I don’t like Oprah. It’s just that I’d prefer not to listen to her explain to everyone how great she is. Or how wealthy she is. Or how she is changing the world, or has millions of famous friends or is giving away her own vital organs! Maybe Oprah will take some advice from Jules Renard, who said, “Be modest! It’s the kind of pride least likely to offend.”
Until then, I’ll make sure to keep my TiVo remote close by.
Ashley Jorgenson is a senior journalism major. She may be contacted at [email protected].
