The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus


The unseen, sartorial dangers of smoking

I am an avid smoker.

If we’re being honest (and aren’t all publications honest?), I go through about 10 cigarettes a day. Therefore, it may surprise many of you that I’m writing to talk about the dangers of smoking.

We have all heard the cigarette-smoke-will-blacken-your-lungs-give-you-cancer-and-have-deformed-babies argument 5,043 times. I try to act utterly surprised when someone comes up to me telling me that smoking is harmful for me. While I appreciate your concern, I can clearly read the health effects on the side of the box. Indeed, I know what I’m putting in my body.

I think people could make a much greater case if they talked about the immediate, negative affects of smoking cigarettes, cigars and *achem* other things.

First, I have a hole the size of a silver dollar in my jacket. It’s not a fashion statement; I purchased the jacket sans-crater.

I was walking to class the other day, and gave my friend a hug on the Boulevard. I accidentally shed my cigarette (for those of you who don’t know what this means, ask someone with a cigarette sticking out of their mouth), and thought that the smoldering tobacco just fell to the ground.

I walked into my class and smelt something burning. There, on my arm, was a hole, increasing in size with orange light emitting from the edges. I had caught my arm on fire.

I ran to the bathroom to put the mini-campfire out and then returned to the classroom uttering a few choice words under my breath.

So, that’s number one — cigarettes make your clothes look like swiss cheese.

Another story comes about because of the massive collection of lighters I now have.

I used to use a Zippo in an attempt to be classy and sophisticated while lighting up. That went out the window right after I lost my lighter in my mother’s couch cushions (thought I’m almost certain she just stole it from me).

Now, I resort to purchasing 99 cent Bic lighters from the 7-Eleven across the street. Of course, I almost always mistake the lighter for chap-stick every morning before I walk out of the door and then have to buy yet another lighter from 7-Eleven. I’ve compiled quite the collection.

The other day, a friend walked into my room, looked directly at my nightstand and stared with eyes the size of large walnuts. When I asked her what was wrong, she asked if I had an issue with flames.

I looked, laughed and then explained to her that I buy a new lighter about once a week because I always leave mine in my room. She has not been back since.

So there’s danger number two — friends will think you’re a pyromaniac and abandon you forever.

I guess with all of these negative things that come from smoking one would think I would quit. Of course, my argument is that I met my last lover while smoking so I’m hoping to have that happen again.

But who knows? Maybe when I have kids I’ll finally quit.

Or, maybe when I run out of jackets.

Michael is a sophomore majoring in communications studies and religious studies.


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