The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus

The Independent Voice of Southern Methodist University Since 1915

The Daily Campus


Wake-up call: Demands in relationships need to change

It seems that the days of door opening, courting, and gentlemanly behavior have passed. When I talk to my mom or any of my friends’ moms, they paint a completely different picture of what it meant to “date” a boy in college.

Random hook ups, rarely planned formal dates, and minimal monogamy mark my generation’s concept of love and romance. Of course there are exceptions to this observation, but I think it is safe to say that this generation of the male population has lost its sense of chivalry.

I have heard it before that our generation is nicknamed the “hook up generation.” But I think we are underestimating how serious this is. We do not take sex seriously or treat it with respect.

It seems that dating has evolved over time. In my grandparents generation dating was usually done under the watchful eye of a chaperone. Then it was considered acceptable to go on intimate dates such as dinner and a movie in my parent’s generation.

But today dating almost does not exist. It is all about the hook ups that transpire under social situations, usually under the influences of alcohol. The partying causes college students to have an excuse for a hook up. It is not seen as a conscious decision but one made under the influence of a good time. This attitude causes very minimal monogamy.

The lack of monogamy is just the start. It is safe to say that it is like pulling teeth to try and get a male student at SMU to commit to one girl. I often overhear my male friends make fun of their fraternity brothers who are in relationships. I have consulted my other friends from campuses all over the country, and this seems to be a reoccurring theme. Women seem to be disposable to men.

But to me, this is the least of our problems. I would be fine with a guy wanting to date other people. After all, this is the one time in our lives we have the great opportunity to date around. It is the lack of respect and appreciation that has inspired me to write this.

Most of my friends’ relationships are nothing like the wholesome relationships you would expect to find on a beautiful campus such as this. It seems that date nights are almost nonexistent. It upsets me to hear from my parents about all their friends who found their spouse in college, because few of the relationships I see forming around me seem strong enough to grow into something substantial and lasting. The simple gestures of opening a door, buying lunch or even handing over a jacket when a lady is cold seem to be prized gifts when they are offered.

I believe that the reason for this is peer pressure. It is not looked upon well by their male peers if they treat a girl as if she were something special. Instead they are called “whipped.” Being college students, what our peers think is important to us. So until being chivalrous is “cool,” I don’t think we will see a change in our relationships.

And I also need to point out that all the blame cannot be made on the male population. Girls need to start respecting themselves more and expecting a man to treat them as more than a hook up.

The ways of our culture are hindering any intimacy in our relationships as well. All communication is done through texting and Facebook. This allows there to be little emotional or face-to-face connection between couples. The most chivalrous thing men need to do is send a smiley face at the end of a text. I know I personally would not know how to react to an old fashion love note or flowers from a boyfriend. Our intimacy is getting lost through the translation of technology.

In my opinion, the most frustrating part is that men don’t seem to realize that if we are treated as valuable, we will do anything for them. Women are nurturing. We love to love and be loved. It is in our genetic makeup to take care of people. So throw us a sincere compliment by treating us with respect every once and a while and you would be treated well in return.

I want this to be a wake up call to both men and women. We are at the point in our lives where we need to grow up and create more substantial relationships. There needs to be a give and take. Being a gentleman will get you far, and women need to start expecting it. All I can do is hope that something changes before the hopeless romantic inside of all women gives up.

Frannie Lupo is a sophomore communications studies major. She can be reached for comments or questions at [email protected].

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