“Hi, my name is John Smith and I’m running for senate. I want to be in Student Senate because I care about SMU and want to represent you and listen your problems. Vote for me for a change on our campus. Thank you for your time and have a good day.”

[Translation:]

“My name is John Smith, remember that, it will be on the ballot, and I’m running for Senate. I want to be in Student Senate because I’m a student here, so where else would I run and I need more to write on my resumé. I also don’t really care about your opinions or concerns; I just need your vote, so I know you want to feel special. Vote for me because I wanna win and change some things—maybe. Okay, now move out of my way so I can bother the next person I see.”

With student elections done and over with for this year, I’m sure many of you were approached by a “John Smith” or two and knew what they were really saying. Being a candidate myself, I know the strategies; I just decided not to use them. If you’re going to approach someone about your campaign, first start with people you know; they will spread the word. Approaching people you don’t know is fine but we all know that many of the candidates will never talk to you again, or worse, if they lost, they will scowl at you the next time.

Now some translations of political jargon are used in this election. When they say, “I am an honest person,” they really just mean, “believe the lies I’m going to tell you next” or “I am very driven” just means “I’m power hungry and will do whatever it takes to win.” The lingo is not always simple to understand though. For instance: “I have accomplished the many goals I have set” means “I’m not going to tell you my to-do list per say but anything that was accomplished, I’m calling it my goal.”

Students hate being hassled by candidates and would prefer to judge the candidates by what they know about them already and not about what they are framed to see in those two weeks before election day. Are we not tired of the fake smiles, pointless small talk and the tacky buttons?

SMU’s Student Senate elections are just a replica of real world politics—that includes the mudslinging and the behind the scenes sabotaging (I know you saw a couple stake signs on the ground). Are we already voting for the leaders of tomorrow, who seem to already know the tricks of the trade? I think yes.

Maybe we should have silent campaigns where candidates are not allowed to speak at all and voters can look up the information on Facebook profiles or The Daily Campus website if and when they want to. We’ll vote for you on our own accord based on what we’ve seen for ourselves.

Let’s cut out the BS! That’s “bad slander,” so you know. I’m tired of the John Smith’s before election day.

Jaimmy Koroma is a freshman communications and advertising double major. She can be reached for comments or questions at [email protected].