I find modern dating to be highly amusing. When you think about it, it’s the most inefficient way for humans to communicate, simply because of the amount of subtlety involved.
For instance, many advice columnists would have you believe that a simple hair-twirl could telegraph attraction. Or that people have a natural tendency to point their feet at those whom we are most interested in. Is this really all we have left to tell someone how we feel about them?
I suppose I’m just a very direct person. I’d be far happier with telling someone, “Hey, I like you,” instead of constantly recalculating interest levels based on mere gestures and other arbitrary clues.
To my dismay, though, it seems society has a natural inclination to do the opposite! In the dating realm, putting oneself out there could mean rejection, and for that reason, potential lovers might never impart their desire to each other.
In every other aspect of our lives, communication is revered. In a multitude of industries, professionals value communication skills as one of the most important personal attributes–from employees to CEOs.
Even something as simple as ordering food at a restaurant depends on clear, direct messages. Could you imagine attempting to express your interest in the soup du jour solely by staring seductively at your server?
Yet, as with many societal aspects, just because something is logical doesn’t mean it’s accepted. However, that doesn’t mean everyone has to follow along with the crowd.
If anything, it’s worth a try. In the wise words of Dr. Seuss, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
Too often we repress what we think, knowing the result might not please those around us. It’s time to take a stand on expressing our beliefs and desires. They are what define us as people.
However, this is not to say though speech is free, we are not held responsible. Talking about convictions is a dangerous undertaking because of the repercussions.
It allows us to be judged, criticized, and examined. Or, in romantic or personal affairs, rejected. These negatives, though, are nothing compared to an unfulfilled longing for expression.
See, there are a multitude of positives as well. What better way is there to know those around us than by conversing about what we hold most dear? Every stranger is mysterious by default. Self-revelation is key to a meaningful relationship.
Though, listening is also incredibly important. Some of my most enlightening experiences are from simply listening to my friends talk. Hearing each others’ perspectives both strengthens our bonds and makes us more learned people.
Too frequently do people get entrapped in their own thoughts and convictions. When superficiality is abandoned, and true dialogue occurs, mere acquaintances become great friends.
So talk about that topic you’re passionate about. Listen to the “long story” instead of the short version. Tell that person how you feel, in whatever way is most appropriate. You could bot
h strengthen existing relationships and build great new ones.
Andrew Pinkowitz is a sophomore majoring in financial consulting and Spanish with a minor in communication studies. He can be reached for comment at [email protected]
