It always amazes me how many people are self-conscious to the point that they feel they cannot “work the room,” if you will.

Too many people think that confidence is a natural thing. I say it can be learned.

I won’t lie; I have issues with confidence myself. We all do. Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you just feel like a monster when you look in the mirror. Coco Chanel herself could have dressed you and you would still feel like a frumpy mess, unable to charm those around you. You want to hang your head low.

Never do such a thing! Always hold your head high and follow my three steps to confidence!

First, always remember to look up. Unless you are traversing through the mountains there is no reason you should not look up when you’re walking. You should always hold your head high (but not too high, I don’t want to be pretentious) while talking to people.

Someone who keeps their head down in a room commands no attention. Those who keep their heads up do. Even if you are not comfortable, keeping your head held high will make people think you know exactly what you’re doing. That’s what matters.

Secondly, always make eye contact. This is a skill many people lack in today’s world. Eye contact will surprise many people. When talking, some text on their phones, look around the room, anything to keep from looking someone in the eye. To me, the most impressive thing a person can do when talking to me is maintain eye contact. Interviewers look for it, friends expect it, and strangers feel more comfortable when you look them in the eye when speaking. It makes people think you’re honest as well.

Finally, show those pearly whites. Smiling is the best thing you can ever do for yourself. Smiling relaxes people and puts them at ease. When you smile people open up to you. Could you imagine sharing information with someone who frowns at you? Also, those who smile are those who “light up the room.” If you become that person who is known for darkening a social setting, well, you won’t get another invite to a party, won’t get the job, won’t get a date.

Most importantly, those who smile are seen as highly attractive, even if they’re not the best looking people. I absolutely hate when I walk into a room and someone feels like they have to frown to get attention. Smiling is a trait I look for in friends, lovers and colleagues. It’s just a good thing to remember to do.

So, that’s it. Hold your head high, make eye contact and smile. Confidence in three easy steps. I can assure you that if you force yourself to do these things (but keep it natural), you will have people eating from your hands. You will make friends. You will make business contacts. You might even get a date.

People all over agree that confidence is the most important thing that a person can embody. So, be confident in yourself. And if you’re ever feeling self conscious, fake it. You may just fool yourself.

Michael Graves is a first year religious studies and communications studies double major. He can be reached for comments or questions at [email protected].