Joseph Gordon-Levitt in “Premium Rush.” The film, released by Sony Pictures, follows a bike messenger through New York with a wanted package. (Courtesy of Sony Pictures)

What happens when you combine one of Hollywood’s most recognizable young stars, a thin plot chock full of cliches and a sound editor who fell asleep on the ‘taxi horn’ button? Premium Rush, a faux-action film so void of substance, you’ll be wanting one of the movie’s million taxi cabs to put you out of your misery from minute one.

The movie follows Wilee, a free spirit type who sticks it to the man by delivering packages on a bike with no brakes. He’s a walking, talking, constantly mugging metaphor. An annoying metaphor, at the most.

Wilee finds himself in a bit of trouble after picking up a package that is being tracked by a crooked cop trying to mend a betting debt.

From there, Premium Rush slips and slides between Manhattan’s five boroughs as Wilee avoids the crooked cop along with a host of other nuisances such as a over-competitive package delivering foe and a pesky NYPD bike-bound officer.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt has always been selective when picking his roles. He’s one of the few young stars that didn’t have to slog his way through slasher flicks to gain cinematic clout.

Perhaps the script read better than Premium Rush’s final product, but in terms of Gordon-Levitt’s career, this is one role he’s probably going to regret.

Joining Gordon-Levitt on screen is a plethora of no-namers that possess the same amount of acting chops as the cast of Jersey Shore. Seriously, no one can act in this movie.

Taking home the gold for Premium Rush’s worst performance is Jamie Chung. Chung plays Nima, a Chinese immigrant trying to get her family to America. Nima’s accent is so forced, a viewer of actual Chinese descent should be insulted.

Premium Rush’s downfalls should not be placed on just the cast.

The film’s editors, Jill Savitt and Dereck Ambrosi, must have watched too much television before editing Premium Rush, as much of the film resembled that of a cell phone commercial.

With almost no redeemable features, Premium Rush is an action film in serious need of training wheels.