Why opening your own door is better
I was particularly shocked when I read the “Girl Talk” article on Thursday concerning southern boys’ superiority in the dating arena. While I respect the author’s right to express her opinion, her article raised a number of issues for me.
This piece seemed to be half a page served to objectify men, perpetuate female stereotypes and counteract many of the strides women have made in gaining equality with men.
Yes, a man opening a door is nice. But to put out that expectation only serves to put men in a no-win situation. If southern men are raised to open doors and give us their jackets, then their doing so is purely habit, and has no significance attached to whom they are giving that coat.
Once a man does he will get one of three answers. The first is a look of disgust for a man who thought women couldn’t open their own door.
The second is no response at all, from women who expect this to occur, and does not appreciate this gesture.
The third is the very rare verbalized gratitude. This kind of response only occurs in women who do not expect this, who are perfectly content to open their own door, and recognize what a lovely gesture it is. These women are self-sufficient, comfortable in their own skin, and do not need chivalry to feel like a princess.
Why is it necessary for women to be treated like princesses?
If women are to achieve equality with men in all things, we must reject the idea that we are incapable of opening our own doors, or of making enough money to pay for our own dinner. Refusing to open your own door only strengthens the argument that women are the weaker sex. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate someone opening a door for me out of courtesy (men or women), but don’t expect it of anyone.
There were many mentions of what proper gentlemen do for “their women”. This perhaps surprised me most of all. Since when did women become property again? I thought we left that notion behind in the 18th century. Women are independent, capable people all on their own. Women, and men for that matter, do not need another person to complete them. I believe in being a strong person in one-self, not relying on another to feel whole. This article spoke of the ideal man, Prince Charming, Barbie’s Ken. Ken is plastic; Prince Charming is a figment of the imagination. Deciding on what kind of man would complete you before meeting him will get you nowhere.
This objectification of men is no better than the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated. Women cannot allow themselves to fall prey to the stereotypes set before us in any region.
If you are looking for a perfect relationship, the guy cannot be the only one with wonderful qualities; you have to be partners, a mutual relationship. I charge the women of SMU to pay for your own meal, spend an evening by yourself or even open a door for a guy.
