Child star can’t make comeback

*Spoilers ahead

David Spade is gracing the big screens this month in his latestfilm, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star. The film is a play off ofE! Entertainment Television’s “E! True HollywoodStory.”

The film is about a 35-year-old former sitcom success DickieRoberts (Spade) who is desperate to find work in the filmindustry.

The film starts off slowly, feeding the audience tidbits ofexposition, telling the story of Dickie’s lackingchildhood.

On his quest for employment, Dickie encounters several setbacksuntil he lands a meeting with director Rob Reiner, who proceeds totell Dickie that he is far from being ready to audition for a rolein his film.

At this point in the film, Dickie comes up with the idea to hirea family to join – it is time he gets the childhood he neverhad.

Desperate and willing to do anything, Dickie puts an ad in thepaper seeking a family to live with so he can reconnect to thatoh-so-precious point in everyone’s existence. After visitingwith several families, Dickie finds the Finneys, but father GeorgeFinney (Craig Bierko) has alterior motives – he wants Dickie to bein commercials for his car dealership.

The father is absent through most of the film, which allowsDickie to become closer to the family and develop relationshipswith the children, Sam and Sally Finney (Scott Terra, Jenna Boyd),and especially their mother, Grace Finney (Mary McCormack).

Sidney (Jon Lovitz), Dickie’s crazy agent finally getsDickie an audition after consenting to donate a kidney to Reiner,after he is attacked and hospitalized. Dickie realizes that he isnot ready to audition for the part, and the mother and childrencome together to help prepare him by pretending to have a familyChristmas.

The staged holiday does not help Dickie, but at this point inthe film, it is obvious to the audience that Dickie fits inperfectly as a member of the family.

Presumably, the father ends up leaving the family, surprisinglyto run off with Dickie’s ex-girlfriend, Cyndi (AlyssaMilano), which brings the family even closer – as one wouldexpect.

The film ends with Dickie auditioning inside the hospital whereReiner awaits his transplant. He then proceeds to land the leadrole in the film and quickly gains the media’s attention aswell as public acceptance. After he has made his comeback, Dickieno longer feels like a failure and “realizes the success hegained was not what he wanted or needed” – right.

The completely predictable film then ends with Dickie returningas the father figure of the family, and hooking up with the mother- how romantic, and completely atrocious. How messed up is a childgoing to be after having their natural father abandoning them fortheir fake-brother’s turned step-father’sex-girlfriend.

Unfortunately, this is the end of the film, and the audience isleft dissapointed – almost.

Once the credits start rolling, child stars such as BarryWilliams, Danny Bonaduce, Emmanuel Lewis, Corey Feldman and CoreyHaim, Leif Garrett and Dustin Diamond participate in a musicalfinale, the most captivating part of the movie. The actors jointogether to perform a hilarious song chronicling their successesand failures as former child stars, leaving the audience laughingall the way to their cars.

The movie, unlike most of Spade’s other works, such asTommy Boy, Black Sheep, and various roles on “Saturday NightLive,” lacks the humor an audience would expect from a DavidSpade comedy.

During certain scenes, the film goes from spontaneous humor tothe sad reality of Dickie’s life and even a tear-jerkingmoment when Dickie reunites with Grace, Sam and Jenna Finney.

Although the film may not be as funny as expected, it accuratelyportrays the life of former child stars as seen on “E! TrueHollywood Story” and VH1’s “Behind theMusic,” however sad that reality may be.