Disclaimer: I bought “Astro Creep 2000” from a friend’s older brother with my own money because I was too young to get it in a store. Metal is god, and if you disagree then you probably don’t get your way too much.

Music takes a lot of faith and emotional running the razor’s edge, so I really do insist on giving everything a fair chance.

But when you name your band something absurd like “Red Jumpsuit Apparatus,” you are kind of asking for trouble. Man fears what he does not understand, and I fear bands with too many syllables.

Before I was handed this album, all I’d heard was “Face Down” on the radio, so I guess I came into this in a bad mood. Nonetheless, I took it upon myself to listen to every track while working on homework.

“In Fate’s Hand” starts off hopefully enough with a refreshing punk feel. It’s kind of a throwback to what made emo good, a glimpse of the prom queen before she got pregnant.

Then you get “Waiting.” It’s a pretty chill song, actually. They have a few lines about the futility of life but aside from that it’s really not that bad.

“Cat and Mouse” is sort of a ‘why did you leave me here? I bought you flowers,’ type ordeal and I guess I’m about as thrilled as the girl was.

Next on the hit list is “Damn Regret” which, after the previous six songs, I began to relate with quite strongly.

Then came “Atrophy,” “Seventeen Ain’t So Sweet” and “Justify.” Here, let me combine all three of these into a single sentence: Seventeen ain’t so sweet so I justify crying in the dark while my muscles atrophy. Bam, did it again.

“Guardian Angel” is one of those touching “I loved her, lost her and now I know why” ballads that most everyone can relate to. Then it cuts into a bunch of whiny “I want you inside me” creepster imagery and destroys everything.

“Grim Goodbye” is about what you’d expect. It sucks and there’s not much more to it.

In what I hope is their debut album, the RJA is decidedly emo. You heard me, black hair and white belts. The album might as well come with a personal MySpace or maybe some Kleenex.

This is the band you put on when your girlfriend leaves you for a football player named Rhino. You listen to this because if you stepped up, Rhino would punch you in the face.

Girls, picture a perfect date and right at the end, when you decide that this really sweet guy should definitely come in, he starts crying and starts talking about his mom. That’s this album.