Who is the single guy? Joe Hoselton

I’m all about animal attraction. Spotting that special someone from across the room or should I say next someone. It appears that today’s single class has evolved into an impulsive and driven mass of speed daters. Our lack of commitment is obvious by the copious flow of drool down our chins as we seek out our next date.

I remember the good old values my parents taught me like opening the door, paying the tab and never ever kissing on the first date. However, society has portrayed a much different standard. Although the Lifetime Channel for Women captures the romantic and chivalrous side of dating, that commercial with the babies throwing off their pink hats leads me to believe that I’m likely to get beat up by assuming a woman can’t open her own door. Also, after watching those blind date shows, I think it’s time my date pays for my meal. I know I’m not alone when I say I can only stand so much of those money grubbing “Springer” types. And when it comes to kissing on the first date? Well, there are other ways to accomplish the task without kissing.

It’s as though we’ve taken everything we were taught and then started from the end and worked backward or just skipped the entire process altogether. Are you familiar with the term “hooking-up?” If so, how many times have you “hooked-up” and then found yourself suddenly attracted to a person on an entirely new level? You think to yourself afterward, “that was amazing, I want to see him/her (or both in some instances) again.” More often than not, we’ve just ended up skipping the entire holding hands, “this is my dad” and “I do” part just to get to the “good stuff.” Usually in this case we’re left with a feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction. What’s worse is that we feel the need to make up for our impulses by seeking out another “date,” only contributing to the spiraling effects of hormones.

We convince ourselves we’re looking for the perfect match and while we try to see a piece of ourselves in everyone we see, date, take home, etc., we never actually see the person it is we are with. Dating isn’t as glorified as they claim it to be on the Emmy winning comedy series “Friends.” It’s not likely that we’ll date, marry, conceive (not necessarily in that order either) within our respective group of friends. What is likely, however, is that by the time we’ve finished college, we’ll have dated so many people that the entire concept will have lost meaning and the list of dates will have lost face.

Look at the factors though. Most full time students have at least a part-time job or extracurricular activities that take up a great deal of time. Does the world honestly expect us single folks to have time to commit to the parade of events involved with dating while trying to complete an education, expand our potential through jobs, volunteer in organizations and when there are so many fraternity parties to be had? When you weigh in all the factors, dating is almost a hobby. Assuming, however, that we are actually dating and not just succumbing to the hormonal instincts that culminate into the copious flow of drool down our chins.

I’m guilty too. I contribute to the mass hysteria of speed dating, fearing that I need to date as much as possible to satisfy some urge before I commit to that one special person. Yet, I feel that I must rise above the faceless wake I leave behind me and realize that the biggest challenge isn’t getting a date, rather giving back after a date. It’s a simple call the next day to say you had a good time and enjoyed one’s company. It was just a date remember, not a legal contract of marriage, so a call isn’t going to lead to any false expectations. Who cares if what you found out about them wasn’t exactly what you’ve been convinced that you need or look for in a relationship. Make the effort to find out more. It’s not quantity that matters, rather quality of time and effort. Also, toss out the manual. The only directions any of us need can be found within our hearts. So open yours.

I realize that I’m generalizing and while I don’t want to categorize anyone, I will anyway. While getting dates can be effortless for the cheerleaders, the fraternity jocks or the occasional gay degreed musician who is thankful for high metabolism, realize that all of you don’t have to succumb to the lustful tendencies. We use the word “date” loosely. However, we are all alike in that we lack the courage to submit ourselves to the effort. Stay tuned.

Joe Hoselton is a degreed musician now recruiting some of the most talented students on campus for the division of music. He is both life member of a national fraternity and honorary member of a national sorority. Joe enjoys diversity, versatility and independence of thought. Turn Offs: drama queens.