Ask Nell

Q: Dear Nell,

Why do students leave in the middle of class? Do they all have bladder infections? Are they taking cell phone calls? Doing drug deals? Do they have any idea how rude it is?!

– Angry in the English Department

A: Dear Angry,

Because this is SMU, I cannot promise anything about the cell phone calls or drug deals. Short of a bathroom emergency (most, but not all college students are potty-trained) I think that students get antsy and maybe a little bored. I have noticed that kids leave Tuesday/ Thursday class more often than one-hour ones. If they leave and return, they are probably waking up their brains, which can be a good thing. If they leave for good, they are probably realizing that they have something they must do (shop, see friends, sleep or drink Mimosas), in which case you have a right to be angry. As for the being rude part, our generation is used to being spoon-fed advice and information. If a teacher makes it very clear that students leaving class offends them, they will be reluctant to do so. If they are not told, they will assume that the teacher won’t notice or won’t care.

Q: Dear Nell,

I’m confused on how the whole dating system works these days. When I was in school, people actually dated. I can’t figure out what the hell they’re doing now, but I know it’s not what I did 25 years ago. Could you enlighten me?

– Very Confused

A: Dear Very Confused,

The dating scene has changed a whole lot in even the last 10 years. Why? I think that young people are less and less encouraged to find a permanent mate in college. Getting married at 30 is normal these days. I myself have noticed a big change in dating trends recently. In my opinion (from observation) college kids now are either very serious or very casually involved. Is dating is pointless? Either you have “the one” (which is very rare) or you are involved with a few people or casually involved with one (with no long-term goals). What’s the point in settling down now if you have years to do so? Don’t be alarmed. The days of Jack and Diane are over, but the age of Will & Grace is here …

Q: Dear Nell,

If guys think about sex every seven seconds, how do they get anything done? Are they thinking about sex while I’m lecturing?

– Dumbfounded

A: Dear Dumbfounded,

Unfortunately, I am not a guy, but I know plenty of guys who are experts on this topic. From what I have learned, while guys think about sex a lot, it is not every seven seconds. For example, a guy can’t be watching Oprah and think about sex more than once an hour, if that. It would just be too painful. Guys think about sex when their brain is triggered to think about it: a magazine cover, hot girl, commercial, a dominatrix den. While some guys may end up thinking about it at some point during your lecture, I doubt it is every seven seconds and if it comes up, it probably has to do with a young female in the class. This is just an assumption though. Apparently there is a professor at Baylor University who makes the young fraternity boys there “fired up” about economics and trust me, it’s not because of the intensity of her lectures …